Shiva's Scenes that Should Not Be (2012 Collection)
by Shiva-J
Summary: I've been writing 'Scenes that should not be' on the PaperPusher for a while, but I've only ever posted a handful on. I'm going to change that, so without further ado here is Shiva's 'Scenes that should not be' the 2012 collection.
1. 1984 Trouble

**1984 Trouble**

Ms. Morgen examined the prisoner through her telescreen, after his capture three days before he had been subjected to various forms of Level 1 torture to soften him up.

"Sleep deprivation through the Screen, sporadic food laced with mild mood altering drugs, forced to stay in the same position for hours on end, time perception manipulation, and having persons he knew in his former life brought in as prisoners for him to see for limited amounts of time." Ms. Morgen noted to herself, checking off the list by routine.

"I think it is time I paid my friend a visit." Ms. Morgen said to herself while brushing a strand of hair away from her glasses, noting that she would need a new pair crafted.

She took note of the cell number and began the walk down the familiar halls of the Ministry of Love, the stark gray walls were oddly comforting to her, a symbol of the power of the Party.

"God is Power." Ms. Morgen thought to herself as she reached the cell door and felt a smile form on her face and a wave of pleasure flood her body, this is what she lived for, finding those who rebelled against the system, even if it was only in their minds, and then fix them.

By any means necessary.

As one of the guards escorting her opened the door however the smile fell away and she reassumed a stoic mask, deprived of any human emotion and she got her first look at the prisoner since she last met him, posing as a fellow thoughtcriminal.

The gaunt figure was being forced to sit on the edge of the bed, with his legs in an awkward position, his arms were his only support to maintain the pose, any deviations would result in him being ordered to reassume position, a slow response would cause the guards to enter the room and force him back into it, along with a mild beating.

"Oh," Trent Lane said in his slow drawl of a voice, "They got you too."

"No Trent," Ms. Morgen said as she sat on the bed next to him while one of the guards followed in her wake, "They got to me a long time ago."

The other guard slammed the door shut.

_Note: This is a small slash between Daria and the novel 'Nineteen Eighty-Four' by George Orwell, no profit was made by this fanfiction._


	2. Sating Hunger

**Sating Hunger**

Benedika Johanssen wriggled and moaned in ecstasy as she felt the two she had consumed earlier, fighting a vain fight for their lives inside her engorged stomach. Each kick and punch upon her innards sent her into even greater heights of pleasure, the vibration of screams within was music to her entire being as she sang and felt the approach of true climax.

"Oh... Oh... OH!" Benedika Johanssen moaned as she felt the two girls give up the fight within her and die, allowing their very essence to become a part of _her_ for the rest of her life.

The large woman then stayed upon her living room floor for several hours to digest her meal, there wasn't any real rush, she didn't need to work at a conventional job since her... Unique talents ensured a steady income from those who wanted... Problems, to go away.

Eventually she felt the last of those two vanish into herself forever and rose from the floor with a level of grace and speed that would have surprised those two girls earlier.

"They fell for the fake hypoclycaemia faint," Benedika thought to herself with a rueful laugh, "Works everytime!"

The large woman went to her phone and punched in the number to contact the person who had hired her for the contract.

"Yes Angela," Benedika Johanssen said with warmth, "Those two troublemakers won't be bothering you or anyone else... ever again."

She then glanced at the floor and noticed that there was still a small mess to clean up, just two pairs of boots and a large pair of glasses.


	3. Sloane Trouble

**Sloane Trouble**

"And this must be Anne," Kay Sloane said warmly in greeting as her son, Tom entered the room with a beautiful blond girl on his arm.

"Yes," Tom said with pride dripping off his tongue, "This is the girl I've been telling you about for months, Anne, this is my mother, Mom, this is Anne Peasegood."

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Sloane!" the gorgeous blond bombshell said with a warm smile on her lips.

Tom's sister, Elsie gave her brother an odd look while thinking, "Why on earth did he have to pick someone that looks like a blond version of me?"

Angier Sloane in the meanwhile had taken one look at Anne and had gone very quiet, not saying anything other than what was absolutely necessary while thinking, "Oh good Lord! It isn't possible! It can't possibly be... _that_ Peasegood... could it?"

His denials weren't working since the bile was already flooding his mouth, Angier quietly excused himself and went to the bathroom to throw up.

That one little slip, that one mistake in the past, that one brief period of pleasure had now come back to haunt him.

As the patriarch of the Sloane clan lifted his face out of the toilet bowel his first rational thought was, "How do I get them to break it off without telling them that Anne is... my illegitimate daughter?"


	4. Double Trouble

**Double Trouble**

Tom Sloane felt his eyes flutter open; his body blissfully drained from the previous evenings activities with one of the most beautiful girl he had ever met.

He turned his head to the left to look upon her glistening naked body, and noticed that she was also awake.

While he wanted the moment to last forever, duty called and he was forced to speak.

"Elsie?"

"Yeah Tom?"

"We cannot tell Mom and Dad about this."


	5. About Us, K&D

**About Us, K&D**

"So... about us...?" Kevin Thompson began asking hesitantly, not sure how else to start the topic.

"I... I don't know." Daria Morgendorffer said, her face a kaleidoscope of emotions. "I mean I've liked it... No time to be honest I _loved_ this but we're so different... And I'll be going back to Raft in the fall..."

"I can come with, no prob." Kevin answered with one of his trademark smiles, "I mean since I managed to scrape a pass this year, I can sign up for something in Boston, Community College wise cus I don't think Raft would take me..."

Daria gave a very minimal smile at that, "If you do ok you can always get a transfer later, but you'll have to _work_ for it, you won't be getting any byes in this rodeo."

Kevin responded by kissing Daria's bare neck and began to work down her equally bare chest, but Daria stopped him for a moment and lifted his chin up to look into his eyes and said, "I promise I'll help you... Kevey..."

"Aww, babe!" Kevin cooed before Daria allowed him to return to his task and just... laid back to enjoy the ride and wondered for a brief second...

"How did I get here?"

Then she ceased to care once Kevin reached his main target and the pair began to once more explore pleasurable territory.


	6. Tiffany Oh Tiffany

**Tiffany... Oh Tiffany...**

Her body was still warm as it lay on the bed, her nakedness was a wonder to behold, he ran his fingertips down her perfect skin, skin that he would ensure _stayed_ perfect, forever.

"Tiffany... Oh Tiffany..." The older man moaned softly at the girl laying on her bed, "At least I got to hear you call me Ken... As I made you a woman..."

He planted another kiss upon her lips, they were as lovely to kiss in death as they had been in life, Ken glanced at the door at a sudden sound but realized it was probably just her cat.

"The parents are out of town, remember." He reminded himself as he sighed and went to the black bag he had hidden underneath the bed, inside was a folded up body bag.

"Not the most elegant conveyance Tiffany dear," Ken whispered to his one true love, "But once we're home I've prepared a room for you, filled with flowers, incense, and other sweet smelling fragrances... I've worked on how to embalm animals even before I met you... I knew that I would find a girl like you... I knew that I'd want to keep you, kiss you, love you, protect you, and keep you beautiful..."

"Forever."


	7. Ms Barch's Secret Meal

**Ms. Barch's Secret Meal**

Janet Barch savored the flavor as she slowly chewed the meat in her mouth and her ears drank in the screams of pain coming from the filthy, MAN she had chained to the table.

She swallowed and then grabbed the knife to carve another chunk out of her latest victim and laughed at his suffering.

"Oh poor, poor, Mack." She sang in an insulting tone, "Too bad it won't grow baaaack!"

The knife came down once more and she began to carve again, now he was completely castrated and the pain would only grow worse for the rest of his now very short life.


	8. Three J's and an Upchuck

**Three J's and an Upchuck**

"Wake up sleepy head..." Jamie whispered close to the ear of the scrawny red-head as he slowly regained consciousness. Then Jamie and his two brothers-in-arms, Jeffy and Joey felt the blood start to flow to their manhood's as Charles Ruttheimer III became aware that he was restrained and naked and fought against the chains.

"Don't fight it Chuck." Jamie whispered softly into the boy's ear.

"Don't be afraid Chuck." Jeffy whispered into his other ear.

"We are trying to help you Upchuck." Joey added as he leaned in towards Upchuck's face and flicked his tongue across the boy's face, and grinned as Upchuck groaned through the ballgag in his mouth.

"We have been watching you for some time now Chuck." Jamie said while he and Jeffy moved to look at him next to Joey.

"We've seen you letch on every single girl... Even Daria and Jane." Jeffy added with a shiver of disgust.

"And it's... Clearly an act Upchuck... Just like how we act like fools for Quinn in public..." Joey noted with an ironic grin.

"No one suspects that Quinn is really just a lipstick lesbian, and she's our beard." Jamie said with an even larger grin before he french kissed Joey in front of Upchuck, who began to groan in disgust.

"And the act you put up... is clearly a cover like ours." Jeffy said while his hands began to tease Upchucks... Private regions.

"That's right Chuck... Just let us do the work... Let us make you... _Ours!_" All Three J's said while they began their work on Charles Ruttheimer III who protested to the end that they had gotten him all wrong.

The protests grew even larger when the J's decided that Upchuck wasn't getting into the spirit of things and they attached a car battery to his nipples and let it rip.

_ZAP!_

"This is going to be a fun night." Jeffy said in a husky tone while he and the other J's drank in Upchuck's suffering and pain, and they reveled in it.

There was nothing quite like breaking in a severe closet case to the Three J's, by the most creative means available.

_ZAP!_


	9. The Hounds

**The Hounds**

"That's right bitch, scream all you want, no one's coming to help you." Mack said with a dark smile, "In fact I'll scream with you, AHHH SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!"

The figure he was yelling at was his science teacher, Ms. Barch, who was tied up in a spread eagle position on the floor, all of her clothes were cut up next to her, and on her left was the body of Mr. O'Neill, whom she had witness Mack kill very slowly over the last three hours with thousands upon thousands of tiny cuts made with an exacto-knife.

"It is time for you to be put in your place Janet." Mack said, his smile growing more twisted, "The place all psycho-bitches like you belong."

Then he whistled and the sounds of trotting could be heard on the cement of the basement and several dogs came into view.

"My boys are very well trained Janet," Mack explained, "They are very hungry _and_ horney... I wonder which will win out first... I know how it will end."

He then made a keening sound and stepped back as the dogs rushed forward, Mack kept his gaze upon Janet Barch's face, intending to memorize every single moment of this to enjoy for the rest of his life.


	10. Kevin and the 'Baby'

**Kevin and the 'Baby'**

"Awww... Did the bae-bay make messes in it's nappie?" Kevin Thompson cooed to the figure in the playpen, his 'little girl' had just started crying, but a quick check of her diaper revealed that it was dry.

"Poor, poor, bae-bay." He continued to coo, then noticed a small cut on her hand, he kissed it to make it better then told her to play 'waitsees' while he went to the bathroom for a band aide and some antibacterial goop.

He went back as quickly as he could to dress his poor 'little girl's' wound and kissed it again, then he had her sit on his lap and promised to tell her a story before nap-naps.

In his lap, Daria Morgendorffer ground herself into his crouch, knowing full well that her 'infancy' turned him on just as much as it did her.

"Oh someone's being naught-naughty." Kevin cooed lustfully, "And methinks she needs a 'spank-spank'!"

While she whined against being spanked, inside Daria was giddy with excitement, there was nothing better than 'spank-spanks' from the one man she had met who truly understood what she was all about.

"Dad-da, pease no!" Daria cooed in fake baby-talk, but her tone and her crouch grinding clearly said, "Yes, Yes, Yes!"

And Kevin couldn't refuse that, now could he?


	11. Amelia's Spawn!

**Amelia's Spawn!**

"It's a boy." The doctor said as he held up the blood soaked baby so that it's proud parents could see it.

"He's so... ugly." Amelia said, her new found motherly instincts unable to make her see her own firstborn son as beautiful.

"I AM CORNHOLIO!" the father roared, having sucked down seven energy drinks and countless cups of coffee and the sugar packets to stay awake during his baby momma's delivery.

"What's his name going to be?" The doctor asked while cutting the umbilical cord.

"Hmm..." Amelia mused before an idea struck her, or more precicely her current baby daddy's rantings did.

"Holiocorn."


	12. The Aftermath of The One in Which

**The Aftermath of The One In Which Brittany Goes to Planned Parenthood For... Reasons**

"Thanks again Dr. Goodnsexy!" Brittany Taylor said cheerfully to the extremely pretty female blond bombshell who just sighed and said, "No problem."

Brittany then strode the halls of the local Planned Parenthood with a bounce in her step, the terrible weight had been lifted right off her shoulders.

After some tries, and some embarrassing incidents with other patients, the cheerful cheerleader found the right door that lead to the reception area where her ride was waiting.

"Hey Daria, Jane." Brittany said with a smile, "I'm ready to go now."

The snarky duo simply nodded and rose quietly, letting Brittany take the lead as they exited the clinic.

Outside the protesters got back to their chanting and called the three of them filthy goddless whores who would burn in hell for their sins.

"Filthy wenches!" one old lady yelled with a misspelled protest sign.

"Baby murderers!" another roared, and then cursing when his dentures fell out again.

"How can you LIVE with yourselves?!" Andrew and Michelle Landon both said in disgust at the three Lawndale Girls that their precious Jodie seemed to like.

Daria stepped in front of Brittany and said in a voice that seemed to carry over the crowd of "righteous" protestors.

"How could I live with myself if I had ever allowed Brittany Taylor and Kevin Thompson to breed?"

The local protest against the Lawndale Planned Parenthood fell into a deathly silence that seemed all-consuming, Jane and Daria took that as the cue to leave, dragging Brittany with them once they realized that she hadn't come with, but instead had started flirting with Andrew Landon instead.

Michelle Landon hadn't noticed since she had gone a distance away to call the mayor, asking him to give Daria and Jane the keys to the city for doing their civic duty in making sure that the human gene pool didn't suffer any further corruption.

"Now I'm pro-choice." Michelle said to herself and gave the Planned Parenthood sign a salute for a job well done.


	13. Instead of Planned Parenthood

**Instead of Planned Parenthood, Brittany Goes... Economy Style**

"But Kevy," Brittany said with a groan while the foreign object inside of her dug into her flesh, "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Sure babe!" Kevin replied in his dopey voice while making sure that the hose was secure inside his lady.

He then looked at the industrial-grade vacumn cleaner he had 'borrowed' from his Dad's contracting business and mummbled, "Ok... so this is the on switch..."

Then he found what he was looking for.

"Hey!" He exclaimed happily, "I found reverse!"


	14. Aunt Amy's Delicious Cream Pies

**Aunt Amy's Delicious Cream Pies**

Amy beamed at everyone in her extended family as they ate with gusto.

"So you like my delicious cream pies?" she asked joyfully and laughed when everyone made happy sounds with their mouths full of food.

The smile on her face didn't fade a bit as she stood and watched as the secret ingredient of her cream pies began to take effect.

Everyone began to scream in terror while she silently walked up behind Daria and whipped out a hypodermic needle and injected a blue substance into the back of her neck.

As her favorite niece was pulled from the brink, everyone else began to vomit up blood in between their screams while their nervous systems began to collapse.

"Thanks." Daria wheezed as she watched Quinn's eyes bulge out of her head with blood pouring down her face, the expression on it would be a treasured memory forever.

"No problem Daria," Amy replied as her own mother fell face first into her pie, dead as a doornail.

"And the first death goes to my mother!" Amy cheered and two seconds later Helen beat Rita by dying first, a tiny part of her soul glad that she had beaten her spoiled sister in _something_ at least.

"GAAAAHHHH!" Jake managed to scream before his heart exploded in his chest, he too fell face first into his pie.

Daria sighed as Quinn continued to convulse, trying to cling to life.

"She never would do what I wanted willingly." Daria muttered and grabbed a serving knife and walked over to her sister and jammed it into her heart once, then several random slashes to her pretty face to rob her of the only thing she valued.

"That was beautiful." Amy replied once they were all dead, even Ruth Morgendorffer who's only regret was the waste of the food.

Daria smiled until she saw Amy grab another pie from the cart and bring it over, she sighed knowing what was coming.

Amy smiled but said nothing as she took the knife from Daria and cut out a piece and put it on a plate.

The twisted mass of this new pie's ingredient made Daria's stomach do backflips.

"Now it's time for my payment," Amy said sweetly, "Daria, this pie contains the most sacred of things I can serve anyone... My hair!"

Daria sighed again, "Well I guess this is cosmic payback for being ironic."

She then began to eat Amy's Hair-pie and hoped that she wouldn't puke.


	15. Creativity

**Creativity**

While Daria sat in front of her blank computer screen, and Jane stood in front of a blank canvas with drying paints, and Trent sat on his bed with his guitar in his hands but otherwise motionless, Timothy O'Neill sat on the floor of his apartment with flash cards strung out in front of him, Janet Barch was only half-heartedly beating up Charles Ruttheimer III, and Claire Defoe had given up trying to think of a creative excuse to get away from her roommates, The Lawndale Lions were listless after giving up their attempts at making new plays, the Cheerleaders were laying on the grass on the football field with their eyes vacant as they stared at the empty sky.

Not even the poor lawyers had the creative juice to lie convincingly enough to get their clients off.

And overseeing all of this, was a stereotypical Evil Tom Sloane, who cackled with glee at having drained the creative juice out of Lawndale.

"A HA AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed from a balcony at Sloane Manor, "Now with all of this creativity, I can finally break my own mold and become a unique person!"

The bored voice of Elsie Sloane emerged from behind him, "Uh Tom... You can't win, it's in your contract that you remain a flat, johnnie-come lately figure that fanfic writers can twisted however they wish."

"NOOOOOOO!" Tom screamed in denial, over and over again, until Elsie hit him over the head with a nearby golf club to end his suffering.

And hers.


	16. Jumping the Shark

**Jumping the Shark**

"You know this is a bad idea, right?" Jodie asked her bitch/boyfriend, Mack as they stood in their swimwear on a tropical beach.

Which for some reason was within driving distance of Lawndale.

"Go Kevy!" Brittany cheered, wearing a Baywatch inspired red one-piece, and made her tits jiggle in ways that would make Pamela Anderson proud, or green with envy.

One of the two.

"Alright!" Kevin cheered with a fist pump for his girl and his friends, he was out in the water holding on to a rope thingy that was connected to a jet-ski, and today the QB was going to do something so full of awesome that he would be even cooler than _Tooommmy Sherrrrmannnn!_

"I'm a gonna jump a shark!" Kevin roared and then told the driver of the jet-ski to hit it.

The nameless backgrounder kicked it into high-gear and they were off.

The three on the beach were forced to watch the Jet Ski hit the ramp and soar into the air.

Kevin cheered merrily, even as in mid-air the rope snapped and he fell down to earth.

Or rather, shark infested waters.

To his dying day, Mack could have sworn that Kevin was cheering, even as he was eaten alive.

* * *

><p>In the water, two sharks were busy munching away at their freshly acquired human dinner.<p>

One with Daria's face told the one with Jane's face using mysterious Shark-telepathy the following.

Human NOM NOM Yummy!

Jane face shark replied Human always NOM NOM Yummy!

NOM NOM NOM Daria face shark sent back, no doubt busy eating her human leftovers.

NOM NOM NOM Jane apparently sent back as a reply.

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

**THE END**


	17. Running Away From it All While Sipping

**Running Away From It All While Sipping Margaritas On An Island Somewhere**

Jane licked some of the excess salt off of her lips and sighed, "Ah... Bliss."

She then turned her head lazily to the left at the figure sleeping in the other lounge chair and smiled.

"She's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." Jane said to herself again before turning away, watching the waves endlessly falling on the beach, letting the gentle breeze and the sunshine on her bare skin lull her into dreamland.

In the beachchair next to her, Mrs. Stoller woke up suddenly, needing a drink, so she borrowed her little Janie's margarita and let the ice-cold alcohol sooth her parched throat.

"I wonder if little Janie will be up for some more play time?" Stoller asked herself before reclining in her chair, glad that she had stolen all that cash from out under Angela Li's nose and run off to this perfect paradise with her one, true love.

Even if she was the biggest first grader she had ever taught.


	18. The One in Which Sandi Discovers that

**The One in Which Sandi Discovers that Harry Potter is Real and that Andrea Doesn't Like Muggles**

Once everyone was gathered, wearing matching black robes and pointed hats and scarves of various colors, Andrea smiled quite wickedly and said, "Good evening my fellow scar-heads, I hereby call this meeting to order!"

At her side, Charles Ruttheimer III grinned and asked what they would be doing that night.

From a nearby wall, Stacy Rowe laughed as she finished painting the words "Avada Kedavra" on the walls with pigs blood.

Andrea's smile grew even more twisted, "Why... Making magic of course!"

She gazed at the various members of the club, Ethan Yeager, Jane and Trent Lane, Daria Morgendorffer who was chatting with both Jane and Burnout about switching spells, Jordana who was reading a book on the Dark Arts, a muffled scream from a nearby room indicated that their victim was awake.

"Bring the **** in!" Andrea roared.

The doors almost exploded as Ted DeWitt-Clinton and Robert dragged in a bound and gagged Sandi Griffin and dumped her on the floor.

Andrea admired the view of Ted and Robert in matching black speedos and nothing else.

"Sorry, bitch!" Robert sneered at Sandi, his false polite-boy mask long gone.

Ted kicked her in the belly before following his boyfriend to their usual spots in Andrea's living room.

Sandi watched in horror as everyone in the room pulled out weird, nerdy looking glasses and put them on, then they pulled out weird, ugly looking sticks.

Andrea then said, "Everyone thinks that the Harry Potter books are made up, and that magic isn't real... Ha!"

Everyone in the room, sans Sandi, laughed, and to Sandi it sounded like the music of hell itself.

Andrea looked inhuman as she continued, "I assure you that it is very real... and tonight we will celebrate it! And this will help us on the path to bringing back the Dark Lord so that he might bring about a new world!"

Everyone pointed their wands at Sandi and said at once, _"Crucio!"_

Sandi's screams became the music of the night, joining the laughter of her captors and merging as one.

To Andrea, there was nothing else quite like it in the world.

Except perhaps the power of the Dark Arts themselves.


	19. Responsibility

**Responsibility**

"Hey, what's up with that weird girl?" Brittany asked her new friend and pointed her out.

Daria sighed as she smoothed out wrinkles on her new lime green shirt, already knowing who the popular girl was talking about.

Sure enough there she was, her younger sister Quinn, in her special helmet and oversized green coat, having a conversation with her imaginary friends again.

"She... had an accident." Daria informed her, and while Brittany went, "oooh.", Quinn was heard to say, "Oh Sandi, that loser is just my cousin, distant cousin."

From behind them, a nice guy in a Lawndale Lion's jersey approached and startled them by asking, "Who's Sandi?"

Daria just shook her head and explained again, while Quinn began to talk to her imaginary boyfriends, Jeffy, Joey, and the Other One.

"That's just messed up." Kevin exclaimed once he understood the situation.

"Yup," Daria assured him as they approached an oddball group of people, two were African American students who turned out to be named Mack and Jodie, the others were a Goth named Andrea, and an alternative type named Jane.

As Brittany finished the introductions, Daria heard her mother's voice echo in her head, asking that she try to help Quinn adjust to a regular high school.

Daria dismissed it by thinking, "She needs to be in professional care, not thrown into a place that won't understand her."

With that, she ignored the slight twinge of guilt and began to get to know these people, after all it wasn't her fault that Quinn was retarded, or that her parents were pretending that everything was fine.

"Plus," Daria added to herself, "She's their responsibility, not mine."

Jane then made a clever joke that helped her shove all those bad thoughts aside.

As Daria began to bond with her new friends, Quinn found herself stumbling into the boys bathroom by mistake.

She was found by a couple of football players who took pictures and laughed themselves sick.

And that was pretty much how the first day at Lawndale High went for Daria and Quinn Morgendorffer.


	20. DUI

**D.U.I.**

Poor Officer Mickles was in a pickle, he had just been going about his business in his brand new cop car.

Nothing major, just picking on kids speeding a few miles over the limit, you know, the usual things cops do instead of stopping actual crime from occurring.

He didn't even see it coming.

The car, driven by that drunk chick, that slammed into his brand new cop car.

Sending it into a ditch.

He heard her manic laughter, even before she got out of the car, vodka bottles smashing on the pavement, walking around with a missing shoe, flashing her boobs at the now stopped up traffic, and touching herself in her 'bad place'.

She didn't even hear him when he yelled for her to get on the ground, but he was sure that she felt it when his baton cracked over her head, again, and again, and again.

Even after she was on the ground, that silly baton fell over and over on her skull, he didn't stop until he saw that she was only twitching out of reflex, and not a desire to resist.

She didn't want to resist anymore, she couldn't.

All that was left was her blood-soaked pulp of a skull, and that beautiful red hair.

Was it naturally red, or just stained with blood?

Mickles wasn't sure, so he checked her purse and found her ID, the drunk had had such a pretty face, and a lovely name.

"Quinn..." Mickles breathed to himself, staring at the picture and ignorning the stares of horror from his audience.

He wondered if he could squeeze in a few minutes with the body, but that thought was dashed when his fellow policement arrived, late as usual.

He wasn't sure why they were telling _him_ to get on the ground, much less cuff him.

The bitch ran into _his_ car, not the other way around, it wasn't like she had any rights after that, right?


	21. Hunting Trip

**Hunting Trip**

"So how was it?" Kevin asked the other person, lounging with him on the big polar bear skin rug, a large fire roaring nearby in their cozy cabin in the woods for the weekend.

He smiled and teased, "It was better than Gum."

Kevin chuckled, "I should certainly hope so, Ted."

Ted Dewitt-Clinton laughed with the big lug, "So... Now that we've gotten our hunt out of the way, wanna have sex?"

"Awright!" Kevin cheered before kissing the hot little nerd and working each other up to get down and dirty.

Nearby, strung up on the ceiling and bleeding out on some plastic tarp on the floor, were the bodies of Brittany and Daria, their faces twisted into masks of pain and terror from their last, agonizing moments.

Human hunting always got the blood pumping in just the right way.


	22. Bros

**Bros**

Brian Taylor's grin flashed red stains upon his bright white teeth, laying before him on the bed was a ruined husk that had once been his sister, they had had a lot of fun in the last hours of her life.

As the extensive slash marks upon every single square inch of her formerly desirable body would testify too.

"Damn," the demented child whined, "I thought you'd hold out longer, oh well, you were to stupid to even know when to keep living."

The door to Brittany's bedroom opened and Brian whipped around, but it was only Kevin Thompson, Brittany's long-time boyfriend, and someone that Brian had bonded with by accident a few weeks prior.

"He showed me so much," Brian thought to himself, "He showed me how to make the cats _really_ suffer, and then he showed me how much fun larger playthings could be."

"Hey Brian!" Kevin said in his usual cheerful voice, which would seem eerie to anyone else but Brian since Kevin was currently naked and covered in blood and gore.

"Hey Kev." Brian replied while he fondled one of his sister's ruined breasts.

"Your step-mom and Dad were a lot of fun." Kevin said with a dopey grin, "And I have the 'electrical' accident already set up, so the house will go up in an hour or so, enough time for you to pack some essentials and hide them somewhere."

Brian nodded at that and gave Kevin a smile, "Cool, and your parents are ok with me living with you, right?"

"Of course bro," Kevin replied, "They know better than to say 'no' to me, and the legal papers have been forged to make them the legal guardians."

"Good," Brian said with his smile growing and growing, "And once all is said and done, we will have many years in which to play better games."

"With even more interesting playthings..."


	23. A Lament for a Lack of Deac

**A Lament for a Lack of Deac**

Jane and Daria sat on the couch in the Lane's living room, ignoring the broken TV, staring at the carpet instead.

Jane sighed.

Daria sighed.

Then Jane said, "Daria?"

"Yeah?"

"I wish that Deac was still here." Jane answered wistfully.

"Why?" Daria asked in reply.

Jane sighed again, "Because, I mean I know he caused a lot of drama, but he did have a way of getting us together to work on a different sort of carpet... If you catch my drift..."

Daria smirked, "Yeah, I catch it. But why do we need a fanfic writer to have hot lesbian goodness for our many perverted fans? Can't we do that on our own?"

Jane just stared at her friend/lover/wife/spouse/whatever with that face from 'God Save the Esteem', you know the one... right?

Her orgasm face...

"...That is the most awesome idea in the history of EVER!" Jane exclaimed before planting her lips on a stunned Daria and began to smoosh smoosh.

Daria's very brief protest was quickly consumed by a hunger, a hunger for her dark haired friend.

And thus ends our lament, and begins a whole new host of Jane/Daria Femslash for the denizens of the Daria-fandom.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>NOTE: Deac was a member of the PPMB, and rather infamous for his DariaJane femslash stories until he left after some drama and asked that all his stories be deleted._


	24. Daria and Jane at a Mass Wedding

**Daria and Jane at a Mass Wedding**

"Where could she be?!" Daria moaned before Jane could shush her.

"Daria," Jane replied as hard and as quietly as possible, "Keep it down, you're ruining the best day out of 900 people's lives."

The cynical duo continued their search but found themselves being hustled into line with others.

"If we can't find Quinn and talk her out of marrying Kevin, Mom will never let me hear the end of it." Daria hissed at Jane as they went with the flow and found themselves standing with the other happy couples as the strange looking Korean man on top of the large dias chanted at them in some demon language.

Then he abruptly stopped and dozens of small children came forward and put laies on everyone's necks and kissed them on the cheeks, including Daria and Jane.

"Uh Daria." Jane said with realization, "I think _we_ just got married."

"...Now I _know_ that Mom is going to kill me." Daria montoned.


	25. Michele L vr Michelle O

**Michele L vr. Michelle O**

On the day that Michele Landon met that **beast**, nay that filthy **MONSTER**, Barack Hussein Obama, at the National Prayer Breakfast, her incoherent Neo-Conservative Tea Party rage against that Commie Socialist took an unusual form.

She tried to condemn him for the antichrist that he was, but instead found herself in a serious lip lock with him.

Or rather _she_ was kissing _him_.

Poor Obama was trying to escape her clutches, but for some reason his Secret Service agents were nowhere to be found, until later when they were busted with a bunch of hookers in the bathroom of the Church they were at.

Instead on that day, Michele Landon and the rest of America learned what happens to psycho bitches when they mess with Michelle Obama's man.

She went from 'Jackie Onassis' to 'Oh-No You Did'ant!' in half a nano second.

The epic, nay the LEGENDARY battle between Michele L and Michelle O gained a billion hits on YouTube within a matter of hours.

Tables were busted, chairs overturned and used as battering rams, innocent bystanders thrown through the windows, the breakfast itself ruined beyond ruined.

And when all was said and done, when Michele Landon lay broken, battered, and beaten on the floor, Michelle Obama whooped a victory cry that would make Genghis Khan proud.

Then she pulled her stunned and amazed husband into a _real_ lip lock, and squealed in delight when he pulled her up by her butt and dragged her out to the limo waiting out front for some good lovin.

Andrew Landon filed for divorce the next day.


	26. Chunky Monkey

**Chunky Monkey**

"Well where is Tiffany?!" Sandi snapped at the other former members of the Former Fashion Club, "It's, like the first day as Seniors and we need her to show, like, solidarity."

"Not sure Sandi," Quinn answered while discreetly checking her tutoring notes from behind a copy of Waif, "She said she had a surprise for everyone that she's been working on for the last month."

"Well whatever it is, it had better be, like huge!" Sandi retorted and would soon find out just how _huge_ a surprise it was.

They heard the car approach before they saw it, and they saw the sparks and smoke first before the car since it was scrapping the pavement since there was some sort of large thing inside it...

"OH MY GOD!" Stacy squealed since she was the nearest one to the curb and got the first glimpse.

"What...? WHAT THE FUCK?!" Sandi screamed as the door opened and the car bounced up as the gigantic weight was lifted and Tiffany Blum-Deckler emerged.

Except it wasn't the girl they knew, the girl they knew was borderline anorexic all the time and talked like a vapid cow.

This girl... Well...

She was fat, not merely pudgy but F-A-T, FAT! As big and as round as a house.

And she was wearing nothing but a very abused looking string bikini that no girl her size had any right to wear.

"Hiya girls..." Tiffany drawled, but much less of a drawl than her usual voice, "You like the new me? Cus I like the new me, oh yeah!"

She then began to drop it like it was hot and did a booty shaking dance in front of EVERYONE COMING INTO SCHOOL!

The girls began to scream in unholy terror and the guys stood before Tiffany Blum-Deckler in total mesmerization.

Their minds were screaming at them to run away, but the raging boners in their pants were telling them to try and go all the way with her.

Then all of a sudden she shot right up and slapped her butt, causing all her cellulite to jiggle and wiggle and make their boy parts tickle.

"Who's wants some of my chunky monkey?" She asked.

The tidal wave of man meat heading towards her at those words was answer enough.

They all wanted some of that chunky monkey!


	27. Tom Breaks the Fourth Wall

**Tom Breaks the Fourth Wall**

Tom looks at the Daria fandom and asks, "Why guys? I mean I've made out with every single freaking thing imaginable! You've had me die _horrible_ deaths! Turned me into all kinds of transgendered/transsexuals, made me a superhero only to give me an enemy like David Allen Farrington, had me date Sue FREAKING Bee! Then when I'm not a girlfriend beater or secret psychopathic killer, you made me eat Jane's boogers right from her nose, suffer as a sub to either Daria or Jane or freaking Sandi! Dressed me up as a nurse and had me nail dude after dude, and I still gag at the ones where I had affairs with my Mom, my Dad, and my Sister!"

"So I ask again, why guys?! WHY?!"

Tom Sloane then breaks down crying, "I'm only human guys! Yeah I know I screwed up with The Kiss but come'on, cut a brother some slack!"

His sobs then render speech impossible.


	28. Daria Turns to Dubstep

**Daria Turns to Dubstep**

She stared at what she had written after an hour of struggle, a mere paragraph and it was, it was...

"Shit!" She growled before highlighting the words and backspacing them out of existence.

She then fiddled with her iPod, trying to find a song that could get her creative juices flowing again.

"Heh," she laughed darkly, "I'm so desperate that Dubstep is starting to look good."

As the Brokencyde song 'Scene Girlz' blared into her ears, she thought that it sounded worse than the Mystik Spiral/Harpies duet performance that had been inflicted on Lawndale last weekend.

She glared at her computer screen and began to type again, hoping that whatever emerged this time wasn't pure tripe.


	29. A Different Sort of Fashion Club

**A Different Sort of Fashion Club...**

"Good morning everyone! Welcome to another meeting of the Fashion Club..." Timothy O'Neill said while checking his teeth in a hand mirror to make sure he had avoided any dreadful coffee stains.

"May I inQUIRE as to WHAt is ON the AGENda?!" Anthony DeMartino replied while applying more mascara.

"Well..." Trent Lane drawled while primping in front of the full-length mirror in DeMartino's bedroom, "We were going to talk about fashion... right?"

"Yes!" O'Neill replied while admiring Trent's rear end in his new, and fashionable, tight jeans.

Then the door burst open and Darin Morgendorffer entered in a rush saying, "Sorry I'm late, but I was at the mall and there were these cute zipper boots that I just HAD to have..."

He then displayed said boots and everyone ooohed and aaaaawed at the epic glory of Darin's new boots.

He then took a seat next to DeMartino and asked, "So... Are we going to talk about Fashion or what?!"

O'Neill laughed and pulled out his copies of Men's Val, Men's Waif, and of course Men's Men Fashion Men Magazine.

As the infamous foursome took notes on what the latest trends were and what to avoid, Darin smiled as he felt somebody play with his cute little bubble butt.

He glanced over and giggled, "Timmy! Wait until later, ok?"

"Ok..." Timothy O'Neill replied with a flirty giggle and then did it again.

Before anyone could stop them they were chasing each other around the room playing grab ass.

Trent and DeMartino took the opportunity to make out like there was no tomorrow.

Just another meeting of the Fashion Club.


	30. Val Answers Charles RB's Question

_"What the hell is Men's Val like?" -Charles RB_

* * *

><p><strong>Val Answers Charles RB's Question<strong>

_Hi!_ Its Val, as in Vaaaalllll! *giggle* And My bosom pal Charles de la Rocket Boi has asked a very important question, what is Men's Val like?

Well I'll tell you.

It's about Men's Fashion, and _me!_ Val, as in, VAAAAALLLL! *giggle*

In it's contents you'll learn what you need to wear to be fashion-ahhhh-able as a man, and to, heh, of course look good enough to maybe get my attention.

Cus I'm Val, as in Vaaaaallll! *giggle*

Don't you have your copy Charlie?

If not then here's the latest issue, with my autograph and compliments!

*she hands Charles RB a copy of Men's Val, on the cover is a hunky guy in the latest Armani suit sitting on a throne, sitting on his lap in a slinky dress showing a lot of wrinkly leg is Val, as in Vaaaaaallll*

Doesn't it look great?! *giggle* *giggle* *giggle*

In this issue I tell the guys all about how using the wrong musk will turn off the ladies, and me of course! *giggle*

Plus how the zits on your back are going to _ruuuuinnnn_ your shot at getting a date with me! Val, as in VAAAAALLL! *giggle*

There are of course lots of adverts for the right products for the would-be stallion who wants to be jiggy with it, and of course pictures and other fun stuff, but I won't spoil it for you! *giggle*

Have fun Charles de la Rocket Boi! *giggle*

*giggle* *giggle* *giggle*


	31. David's Addition

**David's Addition**

"That guy keeps staring at us." Daria complained to Jane while listening to Trent's latest set at the Zon, then she realized something about him.

"Hey," Daria breathed, "I think I know him."

"Huh?" Jane replied, confused since Daria went out of her way _not_ to know people.

"Be back in a minute." Daria replied and stalked off and headed over to the boy.

He had bright blond hair that was cut into a Beatle's moptop, he wore jeans and sneakers and a long buttoned up teal shirt.

And as Daria approached the look of curiosity was replaced with a small smile.

"Aren't you David?" Daria asked once she was standing maybe a foot from him so he could hear her over the bad music.

"Yeah," He replied simply, "And your that girl that burned Graham really well."

"So what are you doing _here_?" Daria asked with a wave of her hand at the Zon, but it was clear that she meant more than that.

"Well after being branded a failure by my so-called friends I figured out what a snot-eating bastard I was, so I got my Dad to transfer me to Fielding."

"Cool," Daria replied, "You went from a Brain Farm to an Ivy-Choked Prep School."

They both laughed at that and Daria couldn't resist asking, "So, why the Zon?"

"Faux rebellion." David answered with a sly grin.

"Oh," Daria replied and then asked, "So how far does this faux rebellion go?"

"All the way to the nearest fast food joint."

"Sounds good." Daria answered and managed to surprise herself in the process.

"I'll buy." David said and in the process managed to get something truly rare and precious.

He made Daria smile.


	32. Knocked Up Lanes

**Knocked Up Lanes**

"Mom," Darius Morgendorffer said very nervously with the entire Lane family present in the Morgendorffer living room, "I have something to tell you, I... I got all the Lane's pregnant."

"WHAT?!" Helen screeched in horror as she took in the sight of Amanda Lane, Vincenta Lane, Summer Lane, Penny Lane, Wendy Lane, Trina Lane, and Jane Lane all standing together around Darius with their hands on their belly's, oh sure they were flat now but that would soon change.

"And..." Darius added and gave a very satisfied grin, "I loved every second of it!"

Helen then suffered a stroke and died.


	33. Daria's Stinky Toys

**Daria's Stinky Toys**

"And I call this meeting of the Fashion Club to order!" Daria mimed as she made Sandi's lips move, doing a good imitation of her snooty voice.

Daria then let go of Sandi's head, and grunted when the damn thing flopped back down so hard that it nearly came off.

"I need better thread." Daria muttered to herself as she went over to Quinn and made her lips move and forced her to say, "This was such a good idea Sandi, I wish I had good ideas like you. I don't have any because I'm a frigid vapid idiot who isn't even useful for the one thing that golddiggers like me are useful for."

After that, Daria grabbed her soda and took a drink, a slight sniff revealed that she would need more lime soon.

She went over to Tiffany and cleared her throat before doing the drone, "Thaaatsss oooookaaaayyyy Quiiiinnnn, yooouuuu aaaarrrreee stiiiiillll coooollll..."

She then grabbed Stacy and added some sychopantic words to that, and wished that she could do a better Stacy voice.

"Jane was always better at it than me." Daria pouted as she repositioned Stacy's body next to Sandi for the next act.

Granted the gash where the stitches had popped was oozing some yellow puss down her rotting Cashman's clothes, but that was ok in Daria's book.

The decomposition of the bodies made this all the more enjoyable.

Sandi's mimed voice then issued forth, "Now the first topic, as per that article in Waif, lots of girls are experimenting in Lesbian type activities, and as members of the Fashion Club we must keep up with the latest trends."

"Yeah" Daria said in her best Stacy voice.

Daria then positioned herself next to Stacy and Sandi and moved their black and blue faces to each other for a dainty kiss, but due to the mechanics of the situation was required to do the kissy sucky sounds herself.

Then the tapping knock emerged from the door and Daria smiled, Jane had finally arrived.

She let her friend into Quinn's old room and after a kiss of hello asked, "What kept ya?"

"Just had to wrap up play time with the Band." Jane explained and Daria grinned at that, after they had killed the Fashion Club and fashioned the bodies into toys, Jane had wanted to do the same for Trent and his bandmates.

"So we'll never be seperated." Jane had explained and Daria had understood.

They still understood each other, even after all these months, as their playtime with their toys had taken a turn for the stranger.

Jane noticed how Daria had set up Stacy and Sandi and didn't need to ask, this scenario was one of Daria's favorites.

She gave her fellow lover of decay a smile and sat down next to Stacy and asked where they were.

"They just started kissing," Daria said next to Sandi, "After Sandi talked about the Ronin article in Waif."

"Ah... Say no more Morgendorffer I know what to do." Jane replied and then began pitching her voice to Stacy's old one.

Play resumed.


	34. Cupid's Screwup

**Cupid's Screwup**

Once more the commercialized duo Saint's Days were in Lawndale, escaping the suck that was Holiday Island High for at least a few hours, when the large fat guy in his diaper jokingly pointed the device in his hands randomly and accidently pushed something that caused a massive beam to shoot forth from it.

"Oh crap." Cupid drawled while fiddling with the controls to his modern day bow and arrows, which now came in taser form.

"What do you mean oh crap?!" St. Patrick's Day began to ask before he saw what was going on and simply went, "Oh."

All across the sleepy suburb, the sounds of arguments emerged from the crackerjack houses.

"What did you do?" St. Patrick asked his friend who looked like he was about to cry.

"I scrambled everyone's love lives in the ENTIRE TOWN!" Cupid moaned in horror while covering his face with his hands as if that would make this epic fuckup go away on it's own.

Patrick smacked hard on the back of the head.

"DUDE!" He yelled before burping green gas and having to sit down on the curb for a minute.

"And there's another problem," Cupid added while looking at the Love Taser in his hands.

"What now?" Patrick moaned as the doors of said houses began to burst open and a figure in a Lawndale Track uniform running at inhuman speed zipped out screaming, "SCREW YOU JANE, I LOVE ST. PATRICK'S DAY NOW!"

St. Patrick didn't have time to respond at all before Evan grabbed him and pulled him into a deep passionate kiss.

"...That." Cupid said calmly while waiting stoically for his own new true love to capture him.

It didn't take long for Janet Barch to claim her prey...


	35. After School Fun for Dario and Barch?

**After School Fun for Dario and... Barch?!**

It was after school and once more Janet Barch was staring face to face with the best student in the school, Dario Morgendorffer.

The door was locked and the shades drawn, without saying a word she opened her desk drawer while he watched her with an impassive eye, she pulled out a crop, a paddle, a ball-gag, a dog collar with a lock, and a big jar of lube.

Then she removed her blouse to reveal that she was wearing a leather harness underneath and nothing else, she undid her skirt and revealed her crotchless panties.

She kicked off her shoes and got down on her knees, holding the dog collar out in front of her with the key facing forward as Dario rose from his chair with a small smile on his face.

"I submit... _Master_." she hissed with growing anticipation while presenting him the collar and key as he stopped a foot from her with that smile unchanging.

Then he spoke, "The saftey word is _Europa_."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Apologies to ST91, but I had to do this!<em>


	36. A Happy Quinn Meets Evil Kitties

**A Happy Quinn Meets Evil Kitties**

A very happy Quinn Morgendorffer skipped her way down the streets of Lawndale, her grades were improving, David Sorenson was back from college and was slowly falling for her charms as a budding intellectual, she had Stacy, Tiffany, and now Brooke as her three best friends, Sandi was in a mental institution being treated for her bitchiness, even Daria was coming around.

"College really agreed with her," Quinn thought with glee as she rounded a corner and came across something that made her even happier.

"Kitties!" she said with a squeal of happy happy glee.

There were seven of the precious furballs, all different colors, some with spots, some with stripes, other solids, but all perfectly precious and wonderful.

To avoid scaring then she got down on her haunches and held out her hand and starting saying very softly, "Here kittie, kittie, kitties!"

Then all seven kittens meowed in a very _not_ so happy fashion.

"Um..." was all Quinn had time to say just before the seven kitten hissed and their claws came out.

As one they pounced upon her and began raking her skin with very sharp claws.

Oh so sharper than normal kitten claws.

Her screams filled the streets as their super strong claws cut through the skin to the delicious flesh and blood underneath and the seven kittens began to feast upon Quinn Morgendorffer's happiness fueled meat.

And they enjoyed every second of it, especially when she realized amidst her agony that they could eat far more mass than their bodies indicated.

It took seven excruciating hours before the kittens had eaten enough of Quinn's body to allow her to die.


	37. Getting Along

**Getting Along**

Darius Morgendorffer had hoped that they could have dwelled in their own personal heaven forever, but alas Helen had called that morning informing her son that she and Jake would be cutting their trip short since she and Rita had argued so badly that Grandma had kicked them out.

"If only they could learn to get along." Darius thought to himself with amusement as he entered his bedroom and smiled at the sleeping figure still in his bed.

He looked so good like that, but duty called so Darius shook his brother awake and said, "Finn, you have to get up, Mom and Dad are coming back early, again!"

"Dammit!" Finn spat groggily while getting up, his beautiful naked body glistened in the sunlight, making his older brother rock solid even after the night they had had.

"I know bro," Darius replied before kissing Finn for a minute before pulling away, "Why can't they get along?"

Finn grinned at that, "We figured it out, maybe one day Rita and Helen will too."

Darius snickered at that while feeling Finn up, "Doubt it bro."

"Well we still have a few hours..." Finn added in a sexy husky tone.

"Oh yeah..." Darius drawled while knocking his big, burly brother back into his bed.

It was time for the normally warring brothers to work on 'getting along' again.


	38. Good Nutrition

**Good Nutrition**

"It's just like old Tim said," Daria said after burping and wiping her face with a napkin, "Good nutrition is important too."

Jane smiled at her friend, "Well put Daria, and let me add that he meant well, for a man that does nothing well."

"Can someone pass the hot sause?" Mack asked before Brittany passed him the bottle, the smacked her boyfriend for eyeing up Angie while she gnawed a bone for the marrow.

During this, Trent turned to Jesse and said, "Hey man, you remember when we wrote 'down with the man' on O'Neill's car with soap?"

"Yeah." Jesse replied while washing down the meal with a beer.

"I think we one-uped ourselves with this one man." Trent said with a laugh that turned into a cough.

"Yeah..." Jesse drawled cluelessly before getting seconds.

While the guests for the very special meal in the rarely used dining room of Casa Lane ate their fill and made merry, the remains of one Timothy O'Neill were spread out across the table.

Having been carefully prepared over a period of several days before he was killed and served up by Jane and Daria to their fellow secret members of the Cult of Namira.

The Goddess of filth, decay, and unspeakable hungers.


	39. Jane Waits

**Jane Waits**

_"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."_ Daria chanted over and over again while smearing blood upon an altar with unspeakable objects upon them, her eyes filled with the madness of having seen things that no mortal should ever know.

_"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."_ Trent chanted with her while smearing himself with the blood of the offering they had made to the Elder Gods.

_"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."_ Tom and Elsie Sloane both roared with the aftertaste of human flesh fresh on their lips.

_"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."_ intoned the lesser members of the Order, such as Ms. Li, Mack, Jim Vitale, Scarlett, Susan Bentley, Andrea, and others both known and unknown.

The chanting began to reach a fever pitch as the cult members began to first rip at their clothes, then at each other, the madness of things best left in the shadows consuming their minds, leaving them only as mad things.

No one was able to hear or notice the death cries of the sacrifice as she was sustained by the unspeakable magic being invoked that night.

_"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"_ Jane Lane's severed head weakly wobbled over and over again, her mind and sanity intact and maintained by the power of those who were no longer dreaming.

_"Cthulhu dawn..."_ Jane moaned in horror with tears falling down her bloodstained face, _"Cthulhu dawn..."_

Jane prayed for many things, madness, death, her head reattached to her body, something, anything.

But nothing came for her, she was forced to endure with her head on that altar, forced to watch, forced to wait in a state between life and death for Cthulhu to come for her and bring it all to an end.


	40. Jamie Wins Quinn

**Jamie Wins Quinn**

"Hey Quinn," the familiar voice of one of the J's, though Quinn still couldn't remember his name, "I have to talk to you."

"What is it Jerome?" she asked sweetly while she stood in her doorway.

"It's Jamie and this is kinda private, can we talk inside?"

"Sure!" She replied sweetly and stepped back into the Morgendorffer residence.

She took note of the fact that he was wearing a trench coat in lieu of his usual preppy clothes and asked, "Why are you wearing that hideous coat? You look like Daria!"

Jamie then sighed and said, "There's no easier way to explain this, so I'll show you."

He then undid the coat and opened it before Quinn could object and exposed his nakedness, not to mention something he had kept secret for many years.

"Jamie!" Quinn said in shock (and got his name right for the first time in her life), "Oh my god! You're... You're... A girl!"

"Yeah." He/she breathed sadly, "I was born intersex and my parents decided to make me a boy but... I always wanted to be a girl so when I turned 18 I used some of my college fund to... Get corrective surgery."

"I... I'm so sorry Quinn." Jamie said with tears in his/her eyes.

Quinn was quiet for a while before she said, "I have to show you something too."

Then before Jamie could react, Quinn undid her pants and dropped them along with her panties and removed some duct tape to reveal the biggest penis that Jamie had ever seen.

"I was born intersex too." Quinn said quietly, not realizing that as (s)he looked at Jamie's breasts that she was licking her lips.

Jamie noticed and made his/her first clever joke, "Well the names Jamie and Quinn are gender neutral..."

"Just like us." Quinn said as (s)he advanced on him/her and allowed the mask of frigid ice princess melt away as (s)he kissed Jamie on the lips.

And thus began the most twisted and bizzare love story in the history of the world.


	41. A Special Message

**A Special Message**

Hi, this is Skylar Feldman, and contrary to the rumors and the gossip I am not a psycho!

I am an ordinary teenager who likes things like BBQ's, fishing, drama club, partying, drinking, hanging out with the guys, dating hot girls, normal stuff.

I don't kill, rape, and butcher people!

...Ok screw it, we both know that was a ton of BS.

I'm gonna go flay Quinn Morgendorffer alive, then with Daria's help we're going to force her parents to eat her flesh and choke to death on it!


	42. Kick A, Bubble Gum, Pizza

**Kick Ass, Bubble Gum, Pizza**

Jane raised an eyebrow as Daria strode the halls of Lawndale High with an uncharacteristic strut, popping bubble gum bubbles and carrying an overstuffed backpack across her back.

She almost asked a question but Daria gave her a look that read, "Don't ask."

So she didn't ask.

Instead she pulled out some taffy and stood back to watch.

Daria came within a few feet of the Fashion Club, who were doing their stupid posing thing to look fashionable or some junk like that.

Daria blew loud bubbles while opening her backpack and spat out the gum once she pulled out a giant machete.

Before Jane had time to scream, Daria swung her instrument of death upon the back of Sandi's head while screaming, "I CAME HERE TO KICK ASS!"

Then she pulled out the blade and brought the blade up across Tiffany's belly while she stood in a stupefied stupor, spilling out her guts.

"AND CHEW BUBBLE GUM!" Daria roared as she then severed Stacy Rowe's hyperventilating head off with one blow.

Quinn had been backing away slowly in fear and upon seeing the geyser of blood shoot out of Stacy's head had finally reacted by screaming and running as fast as she could.

However Daria simply chucked the machete at her sister and caught her in the spinal column in mid run, ensuring that Quinn would never run again.

Everyone in the halls were frozen by the force of what Daria was doing as she calmly strolled over and yanked the blade out of her crying sister's back, straddled her lower back and held it aloft above where her heart would be positioned.

"AND I'M ALL OUT OF BUBBLE GUM!" Daria bellowed at the top of her lungs before plunging the weapon deep into the putrid heart of Quinn Morgedorffer.

Quinn's death cry was the only noise in the hallways after that, no one could respond, not even Ms. Li watching on the security camera feeds since Daria had poisoned her breakfast liverwurst earlier that morning.

Jane felt her mouth open and just said the first thing that came to mind.

"Hey want to get a pizza?"

"Sure," Daria replied nonchalantly as she wiped her blade on Quinn's pink shirt, "You buying?"

"Sure."


	43. Tiffany's War Against Fat

**Tiffany's War Against Fat**

Tiffany Blum-Deckler ignored the dying screams of her latest patient as she finished her God-given task to rid the world of fat at any costs.

"Gooood waaaantsss yooouuuu toooo beeee thiiiinnnnn." She drawled while ripping out the last layer of filthy fat from Andrea's belly and throwing it in the 'borrowed' medical waste bin where it belonged.

Andrea Hebuca then began to exhale her last breath as Tiffany began the next step in the process, resewing the body so that it was as nice and _thin_ as possible, then inject preservatives into it.

"Yoooouuu wiiillll looook soooo pretttty nexxxxt toooo Diaaaane aaaand Daaaaawn." Tiffany drawled happily as she sewed Andrea's belly back up and watched her die from blood loss.

Once she was finished with Andrea and had her nice and propped up in the latest Junior Five fashions, Tiffany would work on the worst of the worst in the War against Fat.

Benedika Johanssen.

"Tiiimmmme tooooo breeeeaaak thaaaat faaaaat biiiitchhh." Tiffany said to herself as she finished her work on the biggest gashes on Andrea's now dead belly and admired her new friend's thinness.

"Yooouuur beeeaaauuutiiifulll." Tiffany sang to herself.

"Beeeeaaaaauuuutiiiifulll."


	44. Real Criminalés

**Real Criminalés**

"ORGAN FIGHT!" Tad Gupty roared as he shoved his hands into the massive open wound in Janet Barch's stomach and began throwing randomly seized internal vitals out and throwing them at the people nearest to him, which was his sister and Brian Taylor, both of whom squealed in protest, then shoved their arms into the gaping holes they had made in the now dying woman chained to the table and began throwing their own organs right back at him.

All through the abandoned factory on the outskirts of town, they and the friends in _'The Circle'_ were having fun with their victims, chosen on the basis that they deserved to die.

Once they had used up Janet Barch, who had died in unspeakable agony, Brian and Tad grabbed her intestines and helped Tricia play skip rope with them.

Nearby, Damien Hebuca and his friend Link were receiving instruction on the finer points of torture from Skylar Feldman who was using O'Neill as the test subject.

"Now you take the scalpel like this and swipe down like _so_." Skylar said sweetly as he sliced off Timothy's nipples with just two swift, savage cuts with a diamond tipped surgical blade.

His latest screams were all the more girlish since they had pulverized his testicles with a hammer about half-an-hour beforehand.

Tad smiled at this and once Tricia had had her fun, the three of them ran over to the table were Rachel Landon, and her boyfriend Sam Griffin were helping

Jane Lane with her latest art project, turning Susan Bentley into a Bloody Eagle.

"Aww..." Jane cooed as Sam and Rachel pulled on the levers of the device that was slowly ripping the notorious bad girl apart, "Don't worry SueBee, just think of this as a boob job and you'll be fine."

Her pleas for mercy were simply divine to Tad who stayed to watch, while Brian and Tricia went to the next table.

"Hey Brian, Tricia." Daria Morgendorffer said flatly as their newest patient was beginning to wake up from the sedatives, "I was hoping for an audience for this one."

"I wouldn't miss this for the world Lady D!" Brian chimed with glee while playing with one of Barch's kidneys.

"After we're finished with this one can I eat the eyes?" Tricia asked sweetly.

"Sure thing Trish." Daria replied kindly, "The human eyeball contains all sorts of nutrients that a growing girl will need."

"Cool!"

Daria then looked down at the patient and gave a very rare and very toothy grin as he woke up and realized what was happening.

"Welcome to hell Alfred Phelps." Daria said in her usual flat montone while picking up a mellon baller, "I'm your guide for the next last hours of your now very painful life."

As the prim and prissy British math teacher began to scream in horror, Daria's smile grew even more twisted as did the interest of the children, for they knew in their cold hearts that they were about to witness a true master of murder and terror at work.


	45. Baby Bumps

**Baby Bumps**

Everywhere in Lawndale High the latest trend was making waves, and that trend just happened to be... Baby Bumps!

That's right you heard it here folks! All the girls in LHS are getting their groove on to get that belly to pop out with that special something growing in their in uteros.

No one is quite sure what started the trend, or indeed whom at the moment, at least until the DNA tests come back for the baby daddy/ies.

However the first girls to flaunt their preggers state were those special four popular girls that made up the Fashion Club, Sandi, Quinn, Tiffany, and Stacy bringing up the rear since she was pregnant with triplets, they had all taken turns with the J's who were now even more lap doggy than ever before.

The other popular girls saw this and for some reason unknown to science it caused their biological clocks to go off much earlier in life than anticipated.

And so quite a few popular guys found themselves getting _very_ lucky very quickly, and then finding out the price of all that luck the hard way.

Within a few weeks so many girls were growing big with child that it made the international news.

Tori and Brooke were competing with each other to see who's belly would be the biggest.

Angie and Brittany weren't on speaking terms since they were pretty sure that Kevin was the baby daddy for both of them, along with most of the other cheerleaders as well.

The girls on the track team mated with the boys on the track team, to see if they could make some real team spirit!

Then the unpopulars got in on the act, countless backgrounders nailed other backgrounders to create a new generation of silent children to serve as the backgrounders for a new generation of speakers in Lawndale.

Jodie had planned to make Mack Daddy her Baby Daddy, but she caught him in bed with the last girl she had ever expected him to be interested in and broke up with him that instant.

Andrea was the apple of Mack's eye, and he was her Baby Daddy.

Poor Jodie had to go to the sperm bank and found a jar that was labeled T. Sherman and took it without thinking it through.

Oddly enough Monique made Trent a Dad as well, but that wasn't intentional on their parts, they had just used a Greystar condom by mistake one night and made a bigger mistake in the process.

And what of our heroes, Daria and Jane might you ask?

Well to get in on this bandwagon took some thought on their parts, then they got boozed up and one Tom Sloane became one lucky son of a bitch since he got both of those hot tamales to unleash their inner freaks upon his person that night, and every night after...

Then what of our undesired Don Juan, Charles Ruttheimer III, AKA Upchuck?

Well during all this baby making goodness, before the pregnancy hormones kicked in at any rate, he was as undesired as before and was walking home one night down a forlorn street when a van suddenly pulled up in front of him and he was grabbed by what appeared to be a blur and dragged into the van with him putting up a pitiful fight.

Once he was restrained, his kidnapers turned out to be Ted Dewitt-Clinton and his sidekick, Robert, and they revealed that they hadn't gotten in on the action either, but by choice.

Ted then told Upchuck that he and Robert were lovers... And that they thought he was one of them as well.

Poor Charles tried to protest, but when Ted began to French Kiss him Charles found himself kissing right back, then Robert got in on the fun and the three of them made that van a rock and a sway all night long.

And everyone got laid and everyone except the three I just mentioned had lots of babies and Lawndale High had to add a nursery and Ms. Li took the opportunity to squeeze the state for more security funds since her school had lots of innocent lives to defend.

For once no one protested, not even Daria and Jane since in between raising their children, were working together to make one Tom Sloane a very happy man.

**The End.**


	46. ZOMG and the Gupty's

**ZOMG and the Gupty's**

Tricia Gupty and Tad Gupty were listening to Marilyn Manson on their illicit iPods (since their parents didn't approve of anything other than record players) when all of a sudden Tad remembered hearing something strange earlier that day while walking past the Morgendorffer residence and wondered if his sister could enlighten him.

He grabbed her arm to get her attention and once they were both unplugged he said, "Hey sis, do you know what ZOMG means?"

"ZOMG?" Tricia repeated in confusion... "No I have no idea what that means, did you try the dictionary?"

"Yes," Tad replied huffily, "And it didn't say anything at all."

"Hmm... that's weird." Tricia replied and then she had a light bulb, "Hey let's call our old babysitter Daria and ask her!"

"Hey yeah!" Tad cheered, "That's a great idea since I heard that word near her house."

So Tricia went to the phone and made the call.

"Hello Daria!" Tricia said happily, "You remember me? Oh goodie you do remember me! Well listen Tad heard a weird word while he was near your house today could you tell us what it means? ZOMG?"

A screeching sound could be heard on the other end of the line that was so loud it forced Tricia to push the phone away from her ear.

They heard two muffled voices scream, "ZOMG! I MUST HAVE YOU AGAIN!"

Then there were licking sounds, and sucking sounds, and whole bunch of other things that forced Tricia to hang up the phone with a very green face.

"EWWWWW!" Both children groaned, "What was that?!"

Then Tad had a light bulb, "I guess ZOMG is a lollipop, cus I couldn't imagine what else would cause so much sucking to happen."

"It had better be a good lollipop then," Tricia added as bile filled her mouth, "Cus otherwise it couldn't possibly be worth it."

They then went to rocking out to the Dope Show again, hoping that the soothing sounds of the Antichrist Superstar could serve as an effective brain bleach, since there were dark places in the world that they were not ready to explore.

And in this case this was one place that they would never willing go.


	47. Hot For Student

**Hot For Student**

"He's so cute." Tiffany Blum-Deckler thought to herself as she got her first real look at the rather tweedy looking clever boy who was sitting in the third row.

She had taken the job as a substitute teacher at Lawndale High for the extra cash, even though the teachers were on strike, she really needed the money since for some reason schools didn't hire her back.

"Pay... attention." She said to cover her silence and then pointed at the board, "Your... regular... teacher... assigned... a play... do you know... what it was?"

She felt glad when the tweedy boy raised his hand and after looking at the seating chart and said, "Ken..."

"Mr. O'Neill said it was Romeo and Juliet!" he chirped and his voice cracked midway which caused everyone to laugh at him.

"He's cuter when he blushes." Tiffany thought to herself and decided she would find other ways to make him blush.

Even though she was hot and bothered, she got through the introductory lesson without any suspicions, her throaty drawling voice provided enough of a shield but when the bell rang she called, "Ken... stay... I need... to talk... to you."

Once the others were gone she asked him to shut the door and take a seat in front of her desk, when Ken Edwards did so she got a much better look at him.

"Nice brown eyes and hair, the bookish type, dorky clothes but they look sooo cute on him." Tiffany thought to herself as she sat on top of the desk in front of him and crossed her legs just so.

She smiled as he gulped, having gotten a very good look at her lacy white panties, and noticed that he was adjusting himself in his seat.

"Ken..." she said with a lusty leer, "I... want... to... tutor... you..."

She then paused and added, "Privately..."

_"Yes'm."_ He gulped.

She then slipped her hands underneath her dress and slipped off her panties and tossed them at him and gave him an even better show.

"Are... you... ready?" She asked.

"Yes!" he squeaked and hopped right out of the desk.

"Education can be fun." Tiffany thought to herself as her new love toy came right on over and became putty in her hands.

Meanwhile in Ms. Li's office, the Principal was watching all of this unfold through the hidden camera in Mr. O'Neill's room and said to herself, "I'll have to fire Ms. Blum-Deckler... Then I'll give Ken a _real_ tutoring session!"

She then chortled and leaned into her seat to relax so she could enjoy the show.


	48. Upchuck's Sex Bomb!

**Upchuck's Sex Bomb!**

Charles Ruttheimer the Third, otherwise known as 'Upchuck' to everyone smiled fiendishly at the thought of his latest plan to get those feisty ladies of Lawndale to truly appreciate him.

"At last they shall know of my charms!" He thought with a growl as he glanced at the clock in DeMartino's room while the teacher screamed at the latest stupid thing to come out of Kevin's mouth.

"Once my sex hormone bomb goes off and filters through the air ducts, these women will want me so badly it will drive them wild!" The red-headed nerd thought with glee as the seconds wound down and reached zero hour...

* * *

><p><em>Five and a Half hours later<em>

Upchuck whimpered in pain as he managed to crawl the last few inches to the showers in the locker room and was forced to lift himself up on his very weak legs and turned on the water.

He shivered as the water began to flow, cleaning up the mess, a horrified sob screamed out but he managed to choke it off, lest it draw more unwanted attention.

"I... I don't understand." Upchuck thought to himself as images from what had transpired flashed in his mind, "It was supposed to attract the ladies!"

He should have realized that something had gone wrong the instant that Kevin and Mack began to eye each other hungrily, it was obvious when DeMartino had ordered them both up to the desk and then planted a big fat kiss on Kevin that was returned with fevered passion by him and Mack.

Every single guy in that room, and as it turned out Lawndale had been affected by the gas, not the girls, oh no they for some reason found Upchuck even more repellant than ever before.

But the guys... Oh the guys...

Upchuck whimpered and tried to scrub off the smells and mess that only male-on-male contact could bring, and whatever pheromone that suddenly made him the sexiest thing in Lawndale High.

Sexy enough to turn straight men gay and gay men gayer than before.

In his concentration on the scrubbing however he didn't hear Coach Gibson slip back into the locker room with the other male faculty members and lock the door behind them...


	49. Tom Is a Pretty Girl

**Tom Is a Pretty Girl**

Quinn stood frozen in her doorway as her eyes processed what she was seeing.

Her sister's boyfriend, Tom Sloane was in her room, a BoysRMen CD playing away while his nomral clothes were on the floor. Her closet wide open, and he was wearing makeup and more importantly _her clothes_!

She opened her mouth to scream but only a squeak came out.

"Oh hey Quinn." Tom said very sheepishly, having been prancing around in a pair of her nice heels, her jeans showing off his muscular legs, one of her pink belly shirts showing off his washboard abs, and his hair nice and styled. "I was hoping to surprise Daria since it's Roleplaying night and since she's into girls too I thought... Well..."

He trailed off in mid-sentence as he noticed that Quinn had slipped a hand into her own pants and was touching herself.

"It's ok Tom," Quinn said in a strange, alien voice, "Keep going... It's hot."

Tom gave her a sly smile and then started to prance away again and sang in a high pitch voice, "Oh I'm such a pretty girl! I'm a sexy pretty frilly girl!"

"That's right..." Quinn hissed to herself, "Your a sexy pervert girl... Oh yeah!"

When Daria walked in on this a few minutes later, she just smiled and shook her head.

"I guess you know our secret Quinn," she said and enjoyed shocking her sister, "Tom's secretly a pretty little girl... And he's all ours!"

Both sisters grinned in delight and Tom gulped, knowing that his night was about to get _really interesting_...


	50. Sapphic Love

**Sapphic Love**

"This is the hottest thing I've ever seen..." Jeffy hissed and the other guys next to him all murmured, "Yeah..."

Upchuck in the meanwhile seemed to be in convulsions but was fighting tooth and nail to stay alive as all the blood in his body was concentrated around his genitals.

Another moan from Tiffany as Stacy's tongue explored her flesh caused all the males of Lawndale High to moan as they stood, with hands fondling themselves, in the gym as on stage, Tiffany, Stacy, Sandi, Quinn, Tori, Brooke, Jane, Daria, Chipmunk, and several girls from Fielding Prep all licked, touched, caressed, explored, kissed, sucked, and pleasured each other in a gigantic public display of Sapphic love.

"Oh Sue Bee...!" Quinn moaned out.

"Sandi don't stop..." Jane begged.

"Oh... Oh... Oh..." Daria panted as Tori went to town on her.

"Harder... Harder... Harder!" Brooke screamed as Elsie and Chipmunk held her in between them in a sandwich of female delight.

"So hot..." Jamie moaned as he created a mess that would require fresh underwear at some point in time.

But that would require leaving, and he had no intention of doing so until the show was over.

And it looked like it had only begun.


	51. A Man's World Now

**A Man's World Now**

Mack allowed himself a smile of pride as the High Priest of the New Church of the Penis placed the phallic shaped crown upon his brow, the ritual was complete and now he could take his place as the ruler of Earth in name as well as fact.

After the endless crowds of beautiful, perfect males finished their cheers, the first and new Emperor of a united globe rose from his golden throne and spoke in a booming voice.

"My people! Long and hard has been the road to this day, we have suffered greatly and many of you endured great tribulations during your conversions but know now that the Time of PMS is truly over, the filth and lies that was 'Woman' has been defeated!"

The crowds cheered once more and Mack saw among them his most devout servants, the Dukes of New England, Darius and John Lane-Morgendorffer.

"They were my best work." Mack thought to himself once more, they were the first successful test subjects of the revolutionary chemical that he had invented that could convert women into beautiful males.

"But!" Mack yelled out and cut off the cheers, "There is one last task to take care of."

He clapped his hands and from a side door two figures were dragged out by muscular guards in chains, the robes they were wearing were stripped to reveal the naked flesh of two women.

Boos and hisses ruled the throne room and Mack grinned darkly at the two shivering figures.

"Janet Barch!" He barked at the older of them once they were brought before him and forced to their knees, "Jodie Landon." He barked with venom.

They flinched in fear and Janet fouled herself and the crowds laughed at her degradation.

"You are the last two women left on Earth, no other remain, they were either converted to the Penis or killed. Thanks to Our Work, your perverted natures are no longer needed, We Males can now create children using pure asexual cloning between other Men, we have changed our sexual desires to crave beautiful male flesh and company, and... We have freed ourselves from your psychotic machinations!"

The crowds cheered once more and the Emperor waited until they were silent to finish speaking.

"I deemed you unworthy of conversion for you both are symbols of everything that Women are, Janet you are, or rather were a mentally-unstable psychotic bitch that blamed every male in sight for the failure of your marriage and never took responsibility for your own actions in the matter."

"And YOU Ms. Landon... Time and time again you manipulated my emotions and my Saint-like demeanor to your own benefit without any regard for my own feelings."

Mack grinned and asked what they had to say for themselves and then laughed when he reminded them that he had had their tongues ripped out long ago, to spare the Males their filthy lies.

He unbuckled the sword at his side and said as he stepped around behind them, "You were allowed to witness my Coronation so you could see the birth of a new world, a world without women... Without you."

"Now it is time to die."

Mack raised the blade above Janet's head and swung down, her blood gushed out of the arteries of her neck as her head rolled across the room.

As the crowds cheered, Mack felt a single tear fall down his face as he aimed the blade at Jodie's neck and swung down.

And as Landon's head rolled on the floor to join Janet Barch's, she was alive just long enough to see Mack smile at his new consort, Ted Dewitt-Clinton-Mackenzie the Crown Prince of Earth who blew him a kiss and said something she didn't understand as death took her away.

But it didn't matter, because it was a man's world now.


	52. Learning to Like It

**Learning to Like It**

"Brian I'm not completely sure I'm comfortable with this." Tad Gupty whined even while he squeezed into a pair of assless chaps and gave his leather vest a good tug and had to suppress a sigh of bliss, he did love the feel of leather on his bare fifteen year old skin.

"Well nuts to you," Brian Taylor replied through his gimp mask while he held up the bright red ball gag, "It's my sweet sixteen and with the parents out of town for yet another thing that they're precious _Brittany_ is doing, we have all night to play."

"Alright," Tad replied in defeat and the sheepishly added, "I have to admit that I liked doing the Coach breaking in the bad QB game last night."

"Now your getting it," Brian replied with a smile evident in his tone as he propped herself up against the giant wooden X they had set up in the Taylor's garage, "Once you've got me tied off, I want you to use the paddles, whips, chains, and anything else you find on the table."

"Ok Brian," Tad answered as he began to tie her wrists to the contraption, "If this is what you want..."

"It is." He said firmly.

Tad just grinned at that and stuffed the ball gag into his mouth, then zipped the mask up tight so he couldn't talk.

He then tied his ankles to the X and ordered him to display his rear end, then he quietly went over to the table and picked a good, strong, oak paddle and gave it a practice swing in the air.

"It's time to play then." Tad thought to himself with a slight sneer as he approached the quivering figure before him and got in position himself.

And as he swung the paddle for the first hit, Tad managed to emerse himself completely into the role of Dom for the first time and discovered something that would truly change his life forever.

That he liked it.


	53. Killing For Art!

**Killing For Art!**

"JANE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Daria screamed in horror as she entered the Lane's rarely used kitchen and beheld her best friend, Jane Lane standing next to a ridiculously oversized blender, and inside the blender were mewling cute kittens, puppies, birdies, and several gerbils that were used to being crammed into... stuff.

"Oh, hey Daria," Jane said as if this was perfectly normal while setting up a time lapse camera, and a video camera, "This is my latest art project, The Exposition of the Gore Within Consumer Projects."

Noticing that Daria was now staring at her in vacant horror Jane added, "I know the name isn't very catchy, but I was hoping you could come up with something, once the project is done of course."

"Jane," Daria managed to force out as the first wave of pure shock wore off, "How can you do this?"

"Because it will get me into BFAC on a full Scholarship Daria," Jane explained as if it was the most ordinary thing in the world, "They give them out for artists that are willing to kill for their art."

She then moved in closer to the blender, pointing a remote at both cameras while holding a finger over the blender's 'on' button.

"And I am willing to kill." Jane said sweetly and ignored Daria's scream of "NO!" and pushed both buttons at the same time.

The screams of those dying cute animals would haunt Daria for the rest of her days, even after the doctors had her lobotomized and feeding instructions tattooed on her forehead and used her for their sick sexual perversions.

The last three were blessed distractions from the screams.


	54. Misery Chick No More

**Misery Chick No More**

Daria was frozen in sheer horror at what stood on her doorstep, spinkles of soil fell off the slightly decomposed figure as he stared at her with his dead and yet horribly animated eyes.

The face, the eyes, and most of all the smashed up nose revealed his identity to her, even after a few days in the ground.

"You're that misery chick..." The dead man moaned while stepping into the house and Daria managed to stumble back a bit before falling on the floor.

He kicked the door closed and gave her a look that made her quiver, he then helped her to her feet but held her in a very tight grip and almost whispered.

"Once good ol' Tommy Sherman is finished, you won't be miserable anymore."

Daria opened her mouth to scream, which gave Tommy the perfect chance to kiss her.

So he did.

And the initial scream of fear quickly turned into a moan of pleasure as she felt what he was packing rub up against her as he pulled her all the way up against his undead flesh.

Then with a quick love bite to the neck, Daria felt the change take over her while she then willing gave herself over to the undead football legend and let him make her feel like a Goddess.

"I wonder what Jane will think about this..." was the last thought that Daria had with a heartbeat, then with her first climax she died, and then came back to the world as something new.

And something that wanted to make love to Tommy Sherman the Zombie all night long.


	55. Nick's BabyMomma

**Nick's BabyMomma**

"So where is the mystery woman?" Daria asked once more, while Jane just shrugged, having already reminded Daria several times that she herself hadn't met Nick's baby momma inspite of having known him since he and Trent went to Lawndale together as teens.

"I'm guessing that Nick went to Lawndale with her, since that's around the time that he had the kid with her." Jane had added, on several occasions.

Then while the infamous duo were watching Trent's band, Mystik Spiral set up the stage for their debut performance in Oakwood, they felt a presence behind them, a very familiar presence.

Daria and Jane turned around in ever growing levels of horror and the person they saw standing behind them brought a chill to their bones and a tiny part of their souls died within a single flash of eyesight.

It was an older Asian woman wearing glasses and a grey pantsuit, it was Angela Li, the Principal of their school.

"Hello Daria, Jane," Ms. Li said as though it was perfectly normal for them to be talking at a Mystik Spiral gig, "Where is... Oh there he is!" Ms Li scanned the band and then started waving a bit until the currently purpled haired guitar player, Nick noticed her and waved back in greeting.

Daria and Jane were completely frozen, unable to take their gazes away from the train wreck unfolding before them.

Nick bounded off of the stage with his guitar slung behind his back like a battle ax, while Ms. Li moved in for the kill, they met halfway and started to make out ferociously and with complete disregard for everyone else present.

"Oh. My. God." was all either girl could say or think.

The other members of Mystik Spiral, used to Nick and Angela's hormonal attraction, and sticking to the oath of silence they had sworn in blood and guitar picks back in 9th grade about the subject, carried on with their business, ignoring the growing amount of heavy petting between Nick and their former Principal.

Daria and Jane then did the only rational thing left, they began to gouge their eyes out while screaming, "IT'S FROM HELL! IT'S FROM HELL!"


	56. Skylar Feldman's Idea of Fun

**Skylar Feldman's Idea of Fun**

"They look so beautiful..." Skylar Feldman said while stroking the hair of one his favorite pets, the son of the wealthy Feldman family smiled and made a sound of pure bliss as he took in the sight, the product of several hours of careful surgery on the part of his pet doctors.

On operating tables were four girls from the High School he had graduated a few days ago, all four of them had at one point or another made promises to him that they didn't keep.

"Now they won't have a choice but to keep them, isn't that right?" Skylar said to his pet and stroked his hair some more, then gave the hand signal giving him permission to speak.

"That's right Master." Jamie White said while on his haunches on the ground, wearing nothing but a chastity belt and a dog collar.

"And if your good, I'll let you play with them, after I'm done of course, your only worthy of sloppy seconds." Skylar said with a warm grin, god did he love dominating and he knew that Jamie simply _loved_ to be controlled and humiliated.

"Thank you master, the Dog grateful." Jamie replied, already eager to play with one of his master's new playthings in particular.

Skylar just laughed and then gave the signal to indicate that Jamie wasn't allowed to talk anymore, then glanced at the girls on the operating table.

He had had the four 'Former Fashion Club' girls kidnapped, brought to his families manor, then altered with surgery to make them better.

What Skylar had done was simple, he had ordered that their arms and legs be removed, it would allow for easier access and lower the risk of them being able to fight back to nearly nothing.

He stroked the hair of the girl that was once Quinn Morgendorffer and whispered to her, "Once your awake, we're going to have so much fun, and then I'll let Jamie have his fun too, back and forth for as long as you can hold out or until I get bored."

Skylar then looked down at Jamie and told him that if he was a good boy, he'd have Quinn preserved for his own personal use in the future, then allowed Jamie to speak.

"Thank you Master," Jamie replied eager to please, "Your Dog loves you for this master."

"Good boy." Skylar replied and petted him once more, then felt the blood pump through his body as Quinn began to stir, the fun was just about to begin...


	57. Tom's Evening Plans

**Tom's Evening Plans**

Tom Sloane posed in front of the floor length mirror once last time, blowing himself pretty kisses with his pretty pink painted lips, and wiggled his hips in their very tight low cut jeans with fashionable fraying, his red painted toenail's shinned in their clear high heels, and went with his painted red fingernails.

To complete this vision of loveliness, Tom had even tracked down a pretty pink belly T-Shirt with a happy face with a halo, it truly completed the look he was going for.

A nameless servant entered the room and politely ignored his young master's current attire and said, "Your dates have arrived Master Thomas."

Tom gave a very high pitched giggle and replied, "Oh please call me Tammy right now!"

The servant gave a weary sigh, this game is one he had been forced to play since Thomas had broken up with that odd girl in the ugly coat, "Your dates have arrived Mistress Tammy."

Tom giggled even more girlishly and replied, "Good, I'll be down in a minute to greet them!"

The servant sighed and went down stairs to inform his masters 'guests' that they would be greeted shortly.

It only took a few minutes for Tom to touch up his make-up and to head on downstairs and gave his dates their first glimpse of their shared 'girlfriend' in her full glory.

"Hi guys!" Tom said in a very exaggerated girl's tone.

"Wow!" Joey breathed.

"You look so... Hot!" Jeffy added.

"Can we skip the date and just... you know... do it?" Jamie asked hesitantly, worried that they would be smacked down, yet wanting as much time as possible with their Tammy.

"Sure!" Tom replied, his eagerness evident through the bulge in his tight jeans.

The Three J's cheered and nearly bum rushed Tom as they ran up at once and lead him up the stairs for yet another night of debauchery, wishing that the four of them had met sooner, or at the very least had done stuff with other dudes sooner than waste time with, ew girls!

The nameless servant just sighed and followed in their wake, picking up discarded clothes to be folded up and left by the door for the J's to put back on later, already resigning himself to a massive cleanup once the four spry bucks were finished with each other.

"Those stains are so difficult to get out of the bear skin rugs." the servant moaned as he picked up Jeffy's socks, and realizing that no one was nearby, gave them a hearty sniff, then came up with his own plans for the night.

Things started looking up after that.


	58. Nothing

**Nothing**

Daria froze in mute horror as Jane's face came closer and closer to hers, then just when her red lips were about to meet hers, Daria recoiled in disgust and roared, "I AM NOT A LESBIAN!"

It was Jane's turn to freeze and silent tears began to fall down her face as Daria got up off of the couch and stormed out the front door, not even bothering to say goodbye.

She stayed in that position with her face stained with salty tears for hours until she rose very slowly and walked at a snail's pace up the stairs to her room and moved like a zombie to the drawer that contained her art supplies.

An exacto knife was easy to find, then a few familiar steps lead her to the bathroom, she then turned on the tap and sat on the toilet lid and watched the tub fill to the brim with scalding hot water and then spill over the sides and onto the floor.

She then stripped out of her clothes and stepped into the seething water and welcomed the pain on her skin, it was better than feeling nothing at all.

"Nothing..." Jane said in a hoarse whisper as she began to make the cuts on her wrists, knowing that nothing was where she was heading now.

A blissful nothing since the only person she had ever desired had rejected her so out of hand.

"Nothing..." Jane said again as the blood began to pour out of her veins.

She kept saying it until the last of her strength was gone.


	59. Robert and Daria

**Robert and Daria**

Daria looked at the long white stick and held it up to the light so Robert could see it, the little blue plus sign drilled it's way into the Linebacker's eyes and his hands shook as he held up the box to confirm what it meant.

It fell out of his hands unnoticed onto the bathroom tiles and he simply asked, "What are we going to do ma'am?"

"I... I don't know." Daria said flatly while sinking onto the closed lid of the toilet to sit down for a minute.

The big lug knelt down and put a big meaty hand on her shoulder and without a moment of hesitation said, "Whatever you decide ma'am I... I'll be there."

Daria turned to look at him, her face completely blank but her eyes seemed to have a small spark of hope within them and she managed a strangled whisper of, "Thank you..."

She then pulled him close to her and began to kiss him for a minute before pulling back with a nervous giggle and said, "Sorry, that's how we wound up in this mess."

"It's ok... Daria," Robert replied kindly, "We'll figure something out."

"You... you said my name!" Daria said softly, in awe that Robert had finally broken from calling her ma'am.

He just grinned bashfully and before either one of the knew it, they were kissing again.

Neither one knew what would come next, but at least they had each other.


	60. Pope Darius I

**Pope Darius I**

As he knelt in thanksgiving before his fellow Cardinal's, the man who began to rise up was technically a Cardinal no longer but a Pope-elect for a few brief moments until he said...

"Yes, I accept." he chirped, his voice quite unchanged over the years even as his face and in fact his entire being had transformed so profoundly over the decades to the point that those who had known him wouldn't recognize him now.

Then he was asked what would be the name that he would take and for a moment the man who used to be Kevin Thompson was silent until he thought of the girl he had talked too after flunking his senior year, what was her name? It had been so long ago...

Then it came to him and he recalled an instant later what her name meant, and what the male version was...

"Darius." the former Cardinal Thompson intoned quietly and yet his voice carried across the entirety of the Sistine Chapel.

Thus he was transformed for a final time, by the hand of God Almighty into the 388th Pope of the Most Holy Roman Catholic Church.

But in that moment his thoughts turned to that night once more when one Daria Morgendorffer had been forced to talk to the big dumb jock Kevin Thompson and had managed to fob him off to a passing Roman Catholic priest and had unknowingly set him on the path to the Vatican.

Darius I smiled mysteriously to himself and whispered, "Cool!"

The Catholic Church would never be the same.


	61. Priscilla's New Look

**Priscilla's New Look**

Priscilla smiled and sighed as she brushed her new pretty red hair while drops of blood slowly crawled down her face, no doubt being absorbed by her skin to make her even _prettier!_

She then turned from the mirror and looked at the figure on the table, the mewling sounds were annoying but better than the screams she had made until Priscilla had removed her tongue and fed it to her pit bull.

"Oh, Quinn..." Priscilla said in her prissy tone, "You have such a pretty face... It will go oh so well with my pretty new hair!"

The mewling sounds grew even worse as Priscilla approached the new source of her beauty slowly with her bag of surgical instruments, she had already removed Quinn's scalp and after shaving off her old hair was now wearing her new hair after duct taping it on.

"I'll need to sew it in later," Priscilla thought to herself as she began to select her instruments of destruction, "The same with my new face but once it's done I'll be so pretty that no boy will be able to resist me."

"This will make me the most popular girl at Lawndale High for sure!" Priscilla said to herself and to the meat on the table and felt a wicked smile bloom on her face at the terror in Quinn's eyes.

As the first cuts were made Priscilla unknowingly thought to herself, "If it wasn't for that weird girl's advice I might never have stumbled on this solution... What was her name? It started with a D."

Quinn's mewling sounds grew even worse after that, so Priscilla began to go faster, wanting to get this over with before the airhead's sounds gave her a headache.


	62. Quinn and Her Little Brother

**Quinn and Her Little Brother**

Quinn glared at the sleeping infant in it's cradle, the mere existence of a baby brother was enough to make the world seem like a cruel, dark place.

"It's bad enough that I have to share Momma and Dada with Diarrhea!" Quinn pouted and stomped a dainty, pretty 9 year old foot on the floor.

"Then YOU had to come out of Momma's belly like some greedy... oversized poopy!" Quinn hissed as she got in closer to look at the... The thing!

"Well guess what?" Quinn said with menace, "I have to put up with Diarrhea because she's bigger, but you... Your _smaller!_"

A shark's grin painted the little girl's face as she stepped away from the cradle for a moment and grabbed an extra pillow.

"Momma and Dada will be _mine_!" Quinn whispered to all the imps of Hell as she held the pillow above the helpless babe and then pressed down.

* * *

><p><em>5 12 Years Later_

Daria gritted her teeth as her sister Quinn claimed to be an only child, again, and this time within earshot of her older sister.

"I understand not wanting to talk about Michael, but shouldn't it be obvious that I'm related to that twit?!" Daria asked herself before shrugging her shoulders and walking away.

She'd find a means to make Quinn suffer, she always did.

"I just wish I hadn't been reminded of Michael right now." Daria thought as memories of the little brother who had died of SIDS in Highland came to mind.

"He was so cute and sweet," Daria thought fondly about that brief ray of sunshine in all their lives, "I just wish he was here with us, I could have used the compnay."


	63. Particularly Proud

**Particularly Proud**

Kaiden stirred in his sleep a little after his father kissed him lightly on the forehead and whispered "Good night son." before walking quietly out of his son's room, but left the door open just a crack to let the hallway light in.

Kevin Thompson then walked quietly down the hallway back to the master bedroom where he knew the Misses would already be.

And sure enough once he opened the door he was greeted by the sight of still beautiful smooth ebony skin as his wife Shandra stood naked with her back turned to him as she shimmed into a sexy little nightgown.

"Kaiden's asleep." Kevin said from behind as he wrapped his arms around his wife and nibbled on her ear.

"Good," Shandra Thompson said right back to him as she turned around in his arms, "He's had a long day."

"I know," Kevin replied with a happy grin, "I'm still psyched for him to have won first prize too."

Shandra grinned in reply and kissed her husband a little bit before slipping out of his grasp and lounging on the bed, "Why don't you show me how psyched you are Kevvy."

"Yes ma'am!" Kevin replied before unbuckling his pants and slipping out of them in a very well honed and practiced way before laying on top of his wife and proceeded to do exactly that.

Meanwhile their ten year old son, Kaiden Thompson was snug in his bed, sleeping with his latest trophy taking pride of place on the trophy shelf in his room.

He had won quite a few awards for spelling and debate before, but this was his first place award for the Mathletics Squad, for which he knew that his Dad was particularly proud.

Even though Grandpa hadn't shown up to the competition, again.


	64. The Secret to Happiness

**The Secret to Happiness**

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bacey..." Two twin eerily happy voices sang as Daria Morgendorffer slowly came back to concusses. Her blurry eyes were unable to focus on the two figures that were standing above her, until one of them was kind enough to place her glasses on her face, bringing back focus.

"Tad, Tricia?" Daria said weakly while trying to move, but discovering that she was strapped down to some sort of metal table.

"Hello Daria!" Tad said sweetly from Daria's left.

"We're glad your awake." Tricia chimed in from Daria's right.

"What are you doing?" Daria asked, still dazed and confused.

"We've seen you since you babysat for us," Tad explained, "And you've seemed so... sad."

"So we decided that you needed help Daria." Tricia said while heading out of Daria's line of sight.

"This is for your good Daria." Tad added as his sister came back with a hypodermic needle filled with a strange compound.

"No, stop!" Daria began before Tad shoved wadded up underwear into her mouth.

"This is for your own good." He repeated as his sister injected Daria with their parent's invention, a special drug that makes a person's mind more... malleable.

Easier to retrain, if you will.

"Now Daria," Tricia said in her most sickeningly sweet tones, "Once it's begun to take effect, we will begin to make you _happy_!"

"Happy like Mom and Dad made us," Tad added, "Before we decided that we didn't _need_ them to keep us happy anymore."

"But you'll always need us Daria, or else you'll go mad, that's how the drug works and we're the only ones who can make it." Tricia explained as Daria began to feel very lightheaded.

"Always need us."

"Always..."


	65. Upchuck Meets Mistress Hedwig

**Upchuck Meets Mistress Hedwig**

Charles Ruttheimer III was awoken rudely by the sudden jerking sensation of his chains being pulled suddenly upward.

"Ow!" He moaned more in shock than actual pain, then began to realize that he wasn't in his room, instead he was in a darkened dungeon filled with bizzare devices, and even stranger smells, and the faint sound of what was either screams or moans, or both.

"What...?" He began to ask before a hand shot out from the dark and suddenly there was a ball gag in his mouth and a voice with a very thick german accent roared.

"NO TALKING FROM THE MAGGOT!"

Upchuck moaned in his pretty bright red ball gag as a woman emerged into view, she was gigantic, over seven feet tall, her body tight and cut and very visible in her S&M leather outfit and knee high jackboots.

She then leaned in, revealing a very hard yet beautiful face and long dark hair and darker makeup.

"Hello little boy," she said in her throaty german voice, then Charles nearly wet himself when she pulled out a knife and quicker than jack robbinson proceeded to cut off his clothes, leaving him only in his tightey whities.

She then leaned in closer and whispered darkly in his ear, "Little Boy will learn his place and will learn to first obey me, and then his true Mistress."

Upchuck wanted to ask a question, but sadly the ball gag cut it off, but she hit him anyways.

In louder tones however the woman roared out, "I AM MISTRESS HEDWIG AND I MUST BREAK YOU!"

Upchuck then did the only thing he could do at that point, he whimpered and felt urine quickly fill his drawers.

Hedwig gave him a very dark smile as she selected her instruments of destruction while thinking that her niece Andrea would have so much fun with her new toy.

"Once he's been properly broken of course." Hedwig thought to herself as the first crack of the cat-o-nine tails landed right on Upchuck's balls.

His screams were music to her ears.


	66. Judith Cosplay

**Judith Cosplay**

Daria Morgendorffer glared at the basket that was filled with her clothes, or rather what had been her clothes. What remained was in ruins since someone (cough-QUINN-cough) had thrown in a dye packet and now everything was tye-dyed.

"Dammit!" Daria screamed, filling the house with the sounds of her rage, while Quinn giggled in her room.

"I guess I'll wear what I've got left in the closet..." Daria began to think to herself before she remembered that she had been forced to take everything out to be wash since those rats had died in the back and rotted for a couple days, stinking up the joint.

"Oh shit!" Daria thought to herself before in an instant she remembered that not _everything_ had gone in the wash, there was one special set of clothes that couldn't be machine washed but was dry clean only.

"Desperate times call for desperate measure." Daria thought to herself before heading down stairs to first swipe her mother's credit card, and when the bills came buck them onto Quinn, and headed out to first the Dry Cleaners, and then the mall for some new stuff.

But this would be the perfect excuse to wear that outfit in public, at least once...

And so the next day, a day that would live in Lawndale High Legends for years to come.

Daria Morgendorffer came to school in a matte black catsuit and a large floor length hooded blood red cloak, black heeled boots, a golden chain belt, revealed a very rockin' body, a set of breasts that couldn't be beat, and a slight sardonic grin.

"So you like?" she asked for the thousandth time to another random group of people who had come up to her to stare.

She was fairly sure that the answer was yes.


	67. What Sam Likes

**What Sam Likes**

"That was amazing Sam." Andrea purred while curled up next to the secret object of her affections.

"I know," Sam Stack replied while one of his hands slowly explored Andrea's beautiful expansive body, "I was there too, remember?"

Andrea gave a very un-Andrea like giggle at that, "You say the sweetest things."

She then drew herself up to him and planted a gentle kiss on his lips, while the star QB of the Oakwood Taproots felt himself stiffen and knew he was ready for round two.

"God I love fat girls." he thought to himself as he began kissing Andrea Hebuca right back.

They always appreciated the attention that someone like him could give them, so they'd do a hell of a lot more than those skinny mini's that everyone else seemed to be into.

His last rational thought as he and Andrea began round two in the backseat of his car was a rather snarky thought.

"I should send that Brittany chick a thank you note for accidently introducing us."

Because ever since he had begun to secretly hook up with Andrea, life had been pure gold for Sam Stack, the big man of Oakwood, and now the secret love toy of a real woman who knew exactly what she wanted.

Him, with no strings attached.


	68. The ValShar Connection

**The Val/Shar Connection**

Dr. Vulma Shar snickered at what her niece had had to say about the visit of 'Val' as in _Val_ to Lawndale High.

"Oh poor Val," Shar sneered while sitting in her comfortable office, "I neglected to mention a certain green-coated bitch that just _happens_ to go to school there."

Shar then shivered at the memory of dealing with that girl, what was her name again? Dora? Darcy? Something like that, either way that bitch had been a hot potatoe.

Vulma Shar glanced at the phone, wondering if Val would have the cajones to call her, but suspected that she wouldn't.

"Oh well," Shar thought with a mental sigh, "It's not like we wouldn't be fighting with in five minutes."

Shar then glanced at her next case file, some popular girl in Oakwood wanted a nose job, and it was up to the Swanne Shoppe to deliver.

"I just wish that we could get along better." Shar whined to herself once more, unable to focus.

_"Shouldn't sisters get along?"_


	69. Slutty Girl's Collection

**Slutty Girl's Collection**

Jackie Wentworth (aka Slutty Girl) moaned sensuously as she let her fingertips trace every square inch of the newest addition to her extensive collection.

"Oh yes," she said with a thick, heavy voice, "You'll do _very_ nicely."

She then leaned in much closer and whispered sweet nothings with her gorgeous red lips, everything in her life was perfect now.

"You are mine," she said in pure bliss, "Forever."

She then kissed the newest addition to her humble collection, a little boy in a rain slicker and set it down with the others, her collection was now complete!


	70. A Summer Job

**A Summer Job**

"So, what are you girls doing for summer work?" Helen asked with a predatory gleam in her eyes at her two lazy teenage daughters, Daria and Quinn, who for some reason glanced at each other with mischief before turning back to look at their mother and father and said in unison, "We're selling our used and soiled panties to dirty old men online!"

Jake sputtered in his coffee and Helen screamed in incoherent outrage, Daria and Quinn both seemed serene in the face of this, then Quinn sniffed and looked at Daria, whose face now looked satisfied in addition to serene.

While their father choked to death and their mother screamed herself into a stroke, Quinn used the distraction to ask what she had just done.

"Oh, our best customer ordered a set of yellow cake granny panties." Daria explained and grinned very wickedly when Quinn threw up in her mouth and ran out of the room in search of a toilet.

Meanwhile in Casa Ruttheimer, Upchuck sighed with pleasure as he placed yet another order and said to himself, "Worth every penny."


	71. For Our Son

**For Our Son**

Trent looked down and smiled at the sleeping infant, nice and safe in it's makeshift crib, they had been forced to bring Jayne's old one down from the attic and refurbish it.

"But it was worth it," Trent whispered very quietly to the beautiful black haired babe, "Just to make you sleep easy little T.D."

"What'd you call him?" a voice emerged from the open doorway.

Trent turned and gave his sister a warm smile, "T.D., since we can't have two Trent's, so..."

"Trent Darius," Jane finished for him, "T.D., sounds kinda cool, I wish I had thought of it."

"That's ok Jayne," Trent replied warmly as he approached his sister and held her, "You were busy these last nine months."

"Yeah I guess I was." Jane replied while letting herself just enjoy being held by her big brother, the only man who had ever truly been at her side.

She then looked up at him and didn't feel the need for words, the two of them fell into the warm, familiar pattern and began to kiss.

They had been doing this for years, just the two of them abandoned by their so-called family, they had only truly ever had each other to count on.

And then Jane had discovered a way to pay Trent back for everything he had done for her.

"I gave you a son," she thought to herself as she kissed her beautiful big brother, "I gave you a legacy."

"I just wish I could tell the whole world... I wish I could tell Daria."

But not even she could know the truth, it had been hard enough to sell her on the idea that Jane had slept with some random stranger and didn't know who the Dad was.

As she danced the old dance with Trent as he began to feel her up, Jane thought, "It's not easy to get a lie passed Daria, but I did it for us, for you, and for T.D."

"For our son..."


	72. Untitled Scene 5-22-12

Daria Morgendorffer smiled at the sleeping figures on her bedroom floor, the celebration of her graduation had been incredible.

Coach's Morris and Gibbson were on top of Luhrman and Upchuck, while the Three Js were all wrapped around Tom Sloane who had dressed up in Quinn's clothes, Ms. Li was in Ms. Barch's arms, they had proven to be the best lovers a High School Grad could ask for.

And to top it off, all of the Lanes, Vincent, Amanda, Summer, Penny, Wind, Trent, and Jane had come by to join the fun, and they had even invited their old friends the Thompsons and their son Kevin to join them.

"Sleep tight my loves." Daria whispered quietly before heading down to grab drinks and food for everyone before the early morning sex to celebrate the orgy the night before.


	73. Untitled Scene 7-13-12

"I'm glad you didn't forget your house keys again." Amanda Lane said to her husband as he unlocked the door and opened it and both of their jaws dropped at what was happening in the living room.

Trent, the members of his band Mystik Spiral, Wind, and three teenagers they later learned were named Kevin Thompson, Tom Sloane, and Mack Mackenzie were having a gigantic gay orgy.

And their little Janie and her weird friend in the green coat were filming the proceedings.

Vincent then shrugged, shucked off his clothes and hopped right into the pile and Amanda borrowed his camera and began to take pictures.


	74. Untitled Scene 7-16-12

"Cannnn Iiiiii staaaay oooooverrrr tooooniiiiight Quiiiiinnnn?" Tiffany asked her friend, Quinn Morgendorffer on her cellphone outside of her house.

"Um, sure Tiff," Quinn replied sweetly while checking her social calendar to make sure it was ok, "But why do you want to come over?"

"Becaaaausssse my Mommmmsssss areeee havvvvingggg looouddddd annnngryyyyy sexxxxx."


	75. Untitled Scene 8-9-12

"You know what Tommy Sherman is gonna do?" Tommy Sherman said with a snort while pulling something out of his pocket.

Before Daria and Jane could react they were staring at a large golden banana which he rubbed three times and said, "Shazaaam!"

Then there was a loud bang and a puff of smoke that made the two girls cough and gag, but it quickly dissipated to reveal...

Tommy Sherman, wearing a banana suit and holding two maracas in each hand.

_"Tommy Sherman says it's peanut butter jelly time!"_


	76. Untitled Scene 10-9-12

It was pitch black, and few street lights on Sancho's Way near Dega Street, it was late enough that only those who were looking for a good bad time would be about.

Under one of those handful of lights emerged a figure in a trench coat and a fedora.

It didn't take long for someone else to approach him, an equally hidden figure wearing a black hoodie that was pulled up, hiding the face from view.

"You want to hit this?" the figure in the fedora began to ask while opening up his coat to reveal that he had a very nice body and was only wearing a pair of shocking pink women's panties.

"Yes I do..." Said the suddenly very familiar voice, "_Mr. O'Neill_."

"Darius?!" the guy in the panties exclaimed in disbelief before trying to stammer a rational excuse out before Darius shushed him.

"Make it a freebe and we'll call it even." Darius told him plainly and lustfully.

O'Neill complied.


	77. Untitled Scene 10-14-12

"So Amiga," Jane said while lounging on Daria's bed, her beautiful naked body soaked in sweat from a sex break in between their study session, "Ready for the next question?"

Daria smiled at her lover, "Sure, just let me turn on the telly, our other favorite show is on."

She then turned the dial and the new color set came alive, the announcer was already going through the usual routine, "...Get ready for it... EVERYBODY LOVES HITLER!"

As the zany German host of the hottest and most popular TV show in the Western World came on and began to do his monologue, Jane said, "Ok next question, when did Charlie Chaplin assume the title 'The Dictator'?"

" The 2 of August," Daria replied while laughing at a clever joke from Adolf Hitler, "1934."

"Correct," Jane replied while wrapping her arms around Daria's neck and kissing it softly, "And just think, it only took three years of war to defeat his 'Grand American Imperium'."

"Yup," Daria said absently as Hitler wrapped up his monologue and squealed as he informed them of their special guest for their enjoyment, "...And I know you were all waiting for this one!" Hitler said very excitedly, "The woman who defeated the vile Dictator and restored British control over North American, give it up for former Prime Minister, Helen Mirren!"

"Cool!" Jane breathed as the hale and hearty war hero took the stage, her figure amazing even in her sixties.

Daria smiled, "I know, she lead the assault team that went behind enemy lines and broke into Chaplin's palace of horrors and put a bullet right between his eyes herself."

"And was elected Prime Minister no less than six times," Jane added, "I'm pretty sure she could run again and win if she wanted too."

As Helen began to banter with the Restored British Empire's favorite import, Daria added, "Yeah but... She clearly is happy in retirement."

"Speaking of retiring..." Jane teased as she began to lightly stroke Daria's neck...

"We can pick this up later." Daria assured her before kissing her lover passionately, her sexy forbidden love that couldn't speak its name in the Empire.

But that just made it all the more fun.


	78. Untitled Scene 10-20-12

_thatLONERchick wrote:_

_"I don't do," Daria whispered vehemently. "Bad stories."_  
><em>Daria hit delete.<em>  
><em>The world went black.<em>

* * *

><p>Suddenly a large, booming voice emerged from the blackness, "OH YES YOU DO DARIA MORGENDORFFER!"<p>

Then there was a flash of white...

_When She Woke Up..._

Daria woke up and found herself in a bathroom she had never seen before, she got out of the stall, feeling very strange, then she saw herself in the mirror and froze in absolute shock.

She was no longer in her own body, she was in a different girl's, and she looked _exactly_ like the actress Kristen Stewart.

"What the fuck?!" Daria spoke, and the girl in the mirror mimed the motion, but the voice wasn't hers at all.

She began to shake as she exited the room and found herself in a High School, but not Lawndale High at all.

"Oh hey Bella," a nice asian girl said coming up to her, "Edward's looking for you."

Daria then realized where she was and her screams of horror lasted for hours.


	79. Untitled Scene 10-21-12

Ronnie and Ethan Yeager stood in front of each other, staring at the other for a long time.

Then Ethan said, "Hey I think Quinn's right, we _do_ look a lot alike."

"Heh," Ronnie laughed, "Quinn being right about something... That's just wrong."

Ethan then looked at the readers bold as brass, "It's almost like a scene that should not be, isn't it?"


	80. Untitled Scene 10-30-12

As Snooki and Daria pile-drived their tongues into each other's throats, orange and normal skin toned respectively, there was the sound of two pieces of gum being snapped in the background.

Watching them with disgust were the two snotty girls from the Sir Mix-A-Lot music video; "Baby Got Back".

"Oh my God!" the blond one said with a flick of her oversized hair, "Becky look at that girl! She's making the cute one, like, ORANGE!"

"I know!" Becky said next to her, playing with her curled up helmet hair, "They are like, totally smearing that nice couch up and stuff too."

"Fake tan is like, sooooo totallly gross, Becky!" the other one replied with contempt.

"They look like, total whores and stuff." Becky added loudly over the moans coming from the beast with two backs, one of which was very orange.

"This has to be like, the worst fanfic EVAR!" the blond said with a snap of her bubble gum, while making sure her big hoop earrings weren't caught in her 80's hair.

"Come on Becky." she told her friend, "Let's go and make our contempt known in other fanfics."

And with that, the Sir Mix-A-Lot girls from his music video, Baby Got Back, left.

During this, Daria had risen with her front body completely soaked in fake tan, she then flipped over and told Snooki to now do her back.

She was obliged, to my and everyone else's eternal horror.


	81. Untitled Scene 11-6-12

"Jaaaaneeee Iiiii kisssssed hiiimmmm," Tiffany drawled to that weird girls friend, "Iiiii kissssed Toooom, Iiiii'mmmm soooo soooooryyyyy."

Jane stared at the otherwise vacant eyed girl for a long moment, then she started pulling her hair while screaming, "Godammit! Is Tom really _that much_ of a manwhore?!"

She then began to run in the other direction.

Tiffany stood silently in the hallway of Lawndale High, aware that people were staring at her for some reason.

"Diiidddd Iiiiii saaaayyyy thhhheee wrrooonnnggg thiiinnnnggg?" she asked the various masses of unpopular, semi-popular, and popular kids.

When no one answered her, she deduced that the stares were due to her looks.

She then spotted a sunbeam on a nearby locker that made the metal _really shiny._

Tiffany Blum-Deckler then spent the next 45 minutes primping in front of it, missing Bennett's class and parts of O'Neills in the process.

But considering the teachers, she didn't miss much.


	82. Untitled Scene 11-16-12

As Ken Edwards moaned and cried in unspeakable agony, cluching his private area as he lay on the ground. He was bleeding out from his massive crotch wound like a stuck pig.

On the bed resting comfortably, Tiffany was watching him with her usual placid mask, wearing nothing but her bare skin, and of course his blood.

She said to herself as he died a very painful death, "Wooowwww, Vaaaginnnaaa Dennntaaataaa, reeeeaaaallyy doooeesss meeeaannn noooo peeennniiisss forrrr thhheee reeessstttt offff yooouuurrr ddddaaaayyysss."


	83. Untitled Scene 12-9-12

Daria felt herself being drawn from her deep sleep in the middle of the night, she opened a blurry eye while clearing her throat a bit and realized that Jane was slipping back under the covers.

"Bathroom?" Daria asked her, and heard a muttered, "Yeah."

Daria gave a tiny hint of a grin the pitch black room and thought, "She isn't even showing yet."

To ensure that Jane was nice and warm she pulled up the special blanket that she had spent several painstaking days creating in middle of the woods where no one would go looking.

Before falling back into dreamland, Daria mused to herself, "Who would have thought that Nathan and Evan's skins would make for a great bed spread?"


	84. Birthday Card

**Birthday Card**

Tom Sloane slowly awoke in his bed, fresh off of his second year at Bromwell and back home in the Crew Neck for the summer, the sun was out and bright, but with his parents out of town and his sister in Europe 'finding herself, he had the whole house to himself.

He then turned to look at his companion and amended that thought with, "Well, _we_ have the house for the month."

Tom then leaned in and kissed his secret partner in crime on the cheek and then reached over to the nightstand and slipped his glasses on for him.

"You look beautiful in your sleep." Tom whispered at the lithe figure as he slowly stirred.

"Wha... What time is it?" Link asked as he struggled to wake up.

"It doesn't matter," Tom answered, "We misdirected everyone about what you were up to, remember?"

Link turned to look at his older lover and replied, "Oh... Oh yeah. Heh, everyone thinks I'm at some summer camp, the people at the summer camp think I canceled, and no one suspects a thing.

Link then curled up against Tom and planted a soft kiss on his lips, but was surprised when Tom pulled away and gave Link a mysterious smile.

"It took me a while to figure it out," Tom said mysteriously while reaching over to his side table and then pulled out a tacky looking card.

"So you figured it out," Link said flatly, wondering when the gig would be up, "So is this when you tell me to get out?"

"Why?" Tom replied before kissing Link again, "I mean I don't like the fact that you lied to me but... You've made me so happy these last few weeks and besides, age is just a number, right?"

"Yeah it is." Link replied as he pulled Tom back to him for another kiss and then whispering in his ear, "And I want my presents now."

As they resumed tongue wrestling to mark the start of the day's festivities, the sunshine landed on a card that said, "Happy 15th Birthday!"

Written inside by Tom was this, "I've never known bliss like this until you entered my life Link, so here's to a happy birthday and many more besides. Love, Tom"


	85. Daria's Clam Jam

**Daria's Clam Jam!**

Hey it's me, your favorite bitter cynic, Daria insert middle name here Morgendorffer and I'm here to talk to you about an important subject, Clam Jamming.

It's cock blocking, but for women.

Like if your at a nice, NOT STARBUCKS, coffee shop and you meet a nice guy and start to talk to him, but then some other bitch up and steals him from you? That's clam jamming!

Or at the office when that nice, cute, but approachable guy approaches you, but then some slut walks by and steals him from you? That's a clam jam!

Clam jams are happening at an ever increasing rate!

At this pace, there will be so many social inept women buried in their cats and posters of pretensions French films that it will cause entire apartment complexes to collapse from the weight of all those pussy cats!

We must, as a gender, STOP CLAM JAMMING EACH OTHER!

Wait... Is my Mr. Pookiekins talking to me?

Wait, how is it my fault that I'm clam jammed?!

I'm not doing it to myself! I swear it's those other bitches! Walking around in their slutty clothes taking guys away from me!

I need some ice cream and then I'll pick a nice French film from the 1930's to watch, doesn't matter which one, they're all good.

Why am I crying?


	86. Alien Space Babes! (I&II)

**Alien Space Babes!**

On yet another bright and sunny average day in Lawndale, the lawns were nice and green, the streets clean, and the kids were indoors at their local High School dealing with the idiots they had for teachers.

Just another average day.

Until...

Up in orbit, an invisible space probe entered geosynchronous orbit with the Earth and began to send out a signal, it had been put into place sixteen years prior by an ancient alien race, the name of which is not comprehensible to humans, they created the probe to send a signal to awaken the two sleeper agents that they had sent to Earth, disguised as human children.

And now...

Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane were sitting in class, snarking away at the stupidity of it all when they suddenly and without warning went rigid and silent, their faces perfectly blank.

"Uh... Daria, Jane?" the happy-go lucky Brittany Taylor asked with bouncing breasts and a twirl of her hair, "Are you two ok?"

Both girls then screamed at decibels beyond the human vocal range and then they were consumed by a massive burst of light that filled the room, temporarily blinding it's inhabitants.

"AHHHHH" Everyone screamed in sync.

The light and sounds vanished as suddenly as they had appeared, but Daria and Jane were no longer who they used to be.

Instead standing in the center of the room were two lavicious, luscious, ladies in skimpy silver outfits, their eyes the color of gold, and they were holding strange looking guns in their hands.

"Alright Humans it's time to listen up!" Daria roared as she shot Mr. O'Neill square in the chest, sending him flying into the blackboard with soiled underpants, and ensuring that he wouldn't wake up for three days.

"In the name of our most Glorious and Powerful Species, we hereby claim this planet in our name!" Jane added as she fiddled with her gun and shot it straight up at the ceiling, the strange purple beam however stopped short of the ceiling and spread outward and down, striking all of the students at once.

A crazed expression claimed all of their faces and the grins on the faces of the Alien Space Babes was terrible to behold.

"You are now our Sexual Playthings!" Daria said very evilly as their new slaves bowed before their new masters.

"You shall have the honor of worshiping us!" Jane added, "Those who truly please us shall be granted a synthetic skin that is capable of sensations beyond the human experience."

"Those who displease us shall be eaten!" Daria added in turn with a lick of her lips, and the press of her ray gun, sending a beam out of the room and across the school, ensaring most of the building occupants in short order.

Jane then turned to her fellow A.S.B. and asked, "So you wanna get a pizza afterward?"

"Of course," Daria replied as she idly stared at her new slaves and picked Mack to play with first, "But we should lure your human brother and his band mates to the Pizza Prince, that way we can catch them and Artie in one go."

"Cool." Jane said as she played with Kevin's hair, "But in the meanwhile..."

Daria only smiled as she ordered Mack and Bob the Punk to polish her boots with their tongues.

Meanwhile in her office, safe and secure (or so she thought) Ms. Li was frantic as she tried to rally the human race to the cause of defeating the Alien Space Babes in the name of her precious Laaaandaaaleee Hiiiighhhh.

However a side-effect of the birth of the Alien Space Babes was an EMP Wave that had knocked out the power in the area.

No one was coming to help.

It was already too late.

The Alien Space Babes were hitting the ground running.

First Lawndale High, then Pizza Prince, and then... THE WORLD!

* * *

><p><strong>Alien Space Babes! II<strong>

While Ms. Li and Mrs. Manson struggled to locate the keys that would unlock their ultimate weapon against Alien Space Babes, in O'Neill's English/Language enslaved persons and to capture them.

"For they too must be enslaved and either please us or be devoured!" Daria had proclaimed in a big booming voice.

Now the two Alien Space Babes were chilling in their usual booth, having sent a pulsing beam of summoning that was fine-tuned to the narcoleptic brainwaves of Trent Lane and his band mates.

But in the meanwhile they were passing the time by enjoying the talents of the early afternoon patrons of Lawndale's Pizza Prince, at least those who had passed muster.

The remains of those who had not were currently bleeding out from a garbage bag two booths away so they wouldn't be bothered by the smell.

"That's right Artie..." Jane cooed as the nerdy boy begged for the right to lick her silver boots, "Keep begging... It pleases me."

"Hey Jane," Daria said to catch her attention, "What about our other field agents?"

"Oh you mean the ones in Fielding?" Jane asked back as she allowed Artie the right to lick the floor where her boot heels _had_ been, "The secondary signal is about to go off, so we'll be meeting them soon."

"Cool," Daria replied as her little eyes spotted the Tank pulling up and parking in the handicap spot, her eyes glowed and it levitated up and was sat down in a regular space, "But in the meanwhile... I've always wanted to take your human brother out for a spin."

"Oh yesssss..." Jane hissed with pleasure at the thought of having Jesse to herself while watching Max and Nick finally consummating their love/hate relationship with hot man-on-man sex.

She then looked down at Artie who's face was turning purple with the frustration from being denied his heart's desire.

"Oh alright," she said to him with a slight grin, "You can lick my boots now."

"HOORAY!" Artie cheered before getting right too it as the door opened and the boys of Mystik Spiral were struck by two purple beams of light.

* * *

><p><em>MEANWHILE AT FIELDING PREP!<em>

In her new slinky golden bikini with her eyes glowing pure silver, Elsie Sloane turned to her new companion Jill Yardborough who wore a similar outfit and asked, "So how's Clayton?"

"Hmm... Well he lacks Pat VII's robust enthusiasm, but his Texas swagger more than makes up for it... Should we eat Sue Bee before meeting with the other A.S.B's?"

"Oh yes," Elsie replied as she enjoyed watching Zip and Buttons indulge in a passionate kiss, "I've always wondered what Mussolini's bitch tastes like..."

* * *

><p><em>MEANWHILE BACK AT LAWNDALE HIGH!<em>

"I found the keys!" Mrs. Manson cried out in triumph as she held them aloft in the air and Ms. Li cackled with glee and ordered the use of Omega 13.

But before the fake-psychotherapist could act on this, the titanium-reinforced doors of the office were circumvented by the crazed sexual playthings of the A.S.B's by simply busting through the NOT-reinforced walls around them.

"AHHHH!" The two women screamed as the first onslaught of their formerly docile pupils was unleashed upon them.

They were seized and arms thrusted behind their backs and held in place by members of the football team, leading the charge was Mack Mackenzie and Jodie Landon, who gazed upon the fallen titans of power with sneers of contempt.

"In the name of our Most Glorious New Rulers, the Alien Space Babes you have been taken into custody for your own protection!" The dating pair declared with fervor.

"You shall be enslaved and you shall either please them or you shall die!" Brittany added from behind them with a fist pump in the air, her cheerleading costume modified to be even skimpier than before.

"Yeah!" Kevin added with his own cheer, wearing nothing but his jersey and a jockstrap, having endured a round of torture at the hands of Daria and had loved every minute of it.

Ms. Li's and Mrs. Manson's screams of denial echoed through Lawndale High, and struck fear into the hearts of Ted and Robert who had been saved since they had been in a supply closet playing find the trouser snake.

They were now the only hope of the human race.

The question is, will they even notice?

* * *

><p><em>Note: I wrote this in '12 but I lost my mojo for it and never got it back. So here's both parts and maybe someone else could use this as a springboard for something better.<em>


	87. Heil Li!

**Heil Li!**

Anthony DeMartino gave a lusty leer to the asian sex kitten that had just entered his bedroom wearing nothing but a leather harness, an SS officer's cap, a hitler mustache, and jackboots.

"Heil Hitler!" She roared in a fake German accent and made the Nazi Salute, "It is time for me to break you!"

"Oh yes, break me!" Anthony begged, his eye bulging nearly as much as his... other self, "I've been a naughty jew and I must be broken for the good of the aryan race!"

Angelia took in the the sight of a man she had once hated, now wearing nothing but a gray prisoner's uniform and a henna serial number tattoo on his wrist.

She licked her lips and thought, "Oh yes... I will break you... and make you love it... Heil Hitler!"


	88. It's Only Another DariaQuinn Torture

**It's Only Another Daria/Quinn Torture Story**

_"People see us everywhere / They think you really care."_ Sang the beautiful blond cowboy while strumming his guitar.

_"But myself, I can't deceive / I know it's only make believe."_ Travis continued as he sat naked on the bed in the odd padded room, his body soaked in blood and quite satisfied after several hours of fun with his latest playmates.

He smiled at the still twitching figures on the ground, not sure if they were alive or not, but he chose to pretend they were still alive.

"Every cowboy needs an audience." Travis thought to himself with another lusty leer and grabbed the redheaded one since she had more movement.

A moan confirmed that she at least was still alive, which meant...

"More fun." Travis whispered before forcing himself back inside of her while grabbing the knife and making her even more beautiful with it.

He then began to sing again.

_"My one and only prayer, is that someday, you'll care / My hopes, my dreams come true, my one and only you." _Travis sang lustily while the other girl, the auburn haired one that had tried to kill him moaned out a plea.

Begging him to torture _her_ and not her sister.

Travis ignored her and continued on, relishing their pain.

_"No one will ever know, how much I love you so."_

Travis then held the knife up and bellowed out, _"My only prayer will be, some day you'll care for me!"_

And plunged it deep within the redheads heart just as he reached the end of his fun.

He rolled off of the twitching corpse and laughed while the other girl sobbed, and that got him ready for more fun.

_"But it's only make believe!"_ Travis sang while shifting the knife again and getting up to grab the other one.

She really was much prettier once you got those ugly clothes and glasses off of her.

It made her so much more fun than expected, then again Travis always found vengeance to be enjoyable.

"Plus the padded walls in here make for great sound proofing." he thought with glee as he began his last round of fun, loving the thrill of knowing that the parents were still in the house as he did this.

It was almost like make believe.

* * *

><p><em>Note: The lyrics are taken from Conway Twitty's hit song, 'It's Only Make Believe'.<em>


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